2020 Taught Me...

This year, 2021, will be all about personal commitment and challenging myself. We all face challenges so why not choose ones for improvement? I want to be more intentional... I listened to a masterclass on Alignment in business yesterday and it’s a balancing act really. Being the wanderer that I am, I usually just “go with the flow.” I’m always “lost in the right direction.” I can’t say that pursuing my interests hasn’t led me anywhere I don’t wish to be but setting intentions helps me manifest and keeps me aligned with my purpose. I would also like more self-awareness, can never do without it really especially as an actor. I wrote about some challenges that I inadvertently set for myself last year and their outcomes. Read about it here:

It's no surprise that 2020 has taught us lessons that will last a lifetime. 2020 has become apart of history and rightfully so. In spite of the uncertainty and feeling forced to choose a side politically and personally, the "what side of history will you be on?" mentality... We've undoubtedly learned a lot and are still processing... We might be processing for a lot longer than we can imagine... So much is still left unanswered but we, ladies and gentlemen, we are the answer but first, we need to embrace teachable moments.

We Are Not In Control

It's a scary thought let alone feeling... Let me tell you all the control we had this year... If you had a home, stay in it. If you went outside, stand 6-feet apart from your neighbor. If you went out in public and found yourself in a crowd, put a mask on your face but not just anywhere, strategically placed over your nose and mouth, not just the mouth. Who would've ever thought, in a million years that these would be our teachable moments? Basic human functions like standing and how to cover your face to save not just your life but other peoples lives as well. This would only be beat by the most wanted item of the year, toilet paper. We fought for control of that one didn’t we? There are so many other alternatives to toilet paper that I would rather not get into, use your imagination. Toilet paper is still a pretty new invention in the larger scope of things...

"You Gon Learn Today"

There is something in our DNA that blocks our receptiveness to learning something new. Adults play more games than kids, trust me on that one. I’m constantly learning how to play new games with my colleagues, many times being completely unaware of the rules if there are any. Sure we know how to stand 6-feet apart and how to cover our faces, we probably learnt that in elementary school. What we didn't learn in elementary school with that exercise we are learning now as adults- the impact of our individual actions in a collective. It doesn't matter if we didn't like it, we learned all about it, at all times. When we saw our neighbors and strangers wearing masks while jogging on hiking trails, while stuck in traffic with the car windows rolled up, when we turned on the news and heard catastrophic numbers thrown our way, when we dared to go back to work only to be greeted by sanitation stations set up every 10-12 feet with tape on the floor, implying the safe distance to stand at all times. We learned... Yes, we did.

Resistance to Change

We also learned quite a bit about resistance this year. Our relationship with it, our friends relationship with it and a distinct line was drawn racially, so we learned both races relationship with it. A teachable moment in a much more diverse and complex way that paper can't quite relay at this time. A life-changing lesson that will repeat itself until the end of time is our resistance to change. We are human beings who are evolving with each experience that we face. There is nothing more natural to our existence than change, yet we resist it... What side of 2021 will we be on? The side of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again but expecting new results? Or, will we try something new?

Perseverance

I think of all the devastation both physically and mentally that we as human beings have encountered in some way, shape or form this year. We all suffered "Disaster Fatigue" yet, I'm reminded of our strength and our will to go on. A hope even, for an end to this disaster. We have learnt so much about racial injustices and what we've been taught about them... Fact vs fiction? Whether or not you believe systematic racism to be a myth or not, it became everyone's reality. Rather than pointing the finger and finding someone to blame, I say we learn from it. We learn from 2020. Not comparing it to 1960 or 1918. This isn't the Spanish Flu and this isn't segregation, this is Covid-19 and this is racism. What we learn through perseverance is a new approach to life. We learned it, we're learning it, it's a journey that we should continue on for as long as possible. That's the thing about teachable moments, they come at different times and it's not just that you never saw it before, you probably just didn't see it in this way. "One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." - Henry Miller Perseverance will allow us to see things with different eyes and to think up solutions instead of being stuck.

Adaptability

Now this one, I love. Everyone went online, events went online, movies were already streaming but didn't hit the box office, news anchors started their own podcasts and did interviews from home. I made a new online friend, or, I should say, Trevor Noah made a new fan. Honestly, The Daily Show brought me joy in a different perspective almost every day... My quarantine would not have been the same were it not for Trevor Noah. I also want to be a comedic actor. I decided that, this year. My goals got more focused over these past 4 months than my entire (almost) 4 years in LA. I'm making strides without the opportunities of last year, which made me question my activity to begin with. There's a time to act (no pun intended- I'm an actor) and there's a time to... You guessed it, learn from those actions which leads me to my next teachable moment.

Relationships

As I've stated in previous articles, I still consider myself new to California. It's been a whirlwind of 3, going on 4 years next Spring, March 12th to be exact. Sure, I've had relationships, friendships, familial, romantic throughout my life but here, there's a certain complexity that I've never experienced and definitely not to this capacity anywhere else. So many people trying to find themselves coincidentally while battling demons. It's riveting to say the least. People in California accept themselves and all their issues and expect you to also accept them and accept your own. I grew up in a culture where you ran from your problems, pinned them on someone else and lived in denial. You could suffer a heart attack and die before admitting to having a problem where I'm from. This, this has to be my most favorite teachable moment. The people I have been so fortunate to meet, remind me of how it feels to be human. I say human to imply flawed. I've never been so proud of my flaws since I started living in California. At first, it was confusing but it's essential learning and guess what else? Throughout all of my multifaceted relationships, I've found a few who have accepted mine too and for that I’m eternally grateful. I'm so happy to say that those relationships came in handy many times in 2020 both personally and professionally. Family zooms have to be the best thing to come out of 2020 for me. I'm not alone and I guess that 2020 taught me that I never was, even when it felt like it.

Acceptance

Can we accept "2020 vision" for what it is? What is it? What have you seen things more clearly now than ever before? Have you changed? If so, how has 2020 changed you? I ask myself these questions often and although I live a pretty simple life and usually see things for what they are, I've learnt to let go of my anxiety, to choose healing over hurting and most importantly, 2020 taught me humility. I can be impulsive it’s connected to my need for freedom. I’ve always been a rebel with a cause, that cause is freedom but my impulses were forced to take a long vacation during the quarantine. California was very regulated, probably more so than other states, there was nothing to do for months. I had to reconfigure my life as many of us had to, that took humility, loads and loads of it. There was no room for living in denial or running from your problems, you could only accept them and that I did...

Commitment and Challenges- Past, Present and Future

The very first article I wrote on Vocal was about commitment, read about it below. Writing on Vocal is a challenge that came at the right time for me. I wanted to get back to writing but had a mental block that lasted almost 20 years. The truth is that I never stopped writing, I’ve journaled ever since the age of 14, I just stopped sharing my thoughts. It’s been a journey to say the least and it feels like being reunited with a best friend. I had so much passion at the age of 16 and I was so vocal (no pun intended) I wanted that back again. I needed that back and I’m so happy to say that I’m getting it back! If we really do change every 10 or 15 years, maybe quarterlife crisis and midlife crisis are really just reverting to our best selves and our best, most favorite times of our lives. Can I get an Amen to that! I’m going to write a “Challenge Myself” list, maybe I’ll post it but I encourage you to do the same. So far I’ve got, write on vocal every day Monday through Friday and read a book every month. I’m such a bad reader of books, what is wrong with me? There was one book that I absolutely could not put down in 2019, it was called The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. My God, she wrote Grey’s Anatomy for Christ’s sake, the longest standing network television show to date! Her book was the worst written book ever but it was also brilliant. She wrote like she was talking to you and you were her best friend on the phone with her every night. She spoke about her failings and self doubts mainly but she also wrote about the changes she made to match the amazing growth that was taking place in her life and career. It’s classified as a self help book and it was truly inspiring towards the middle and end of it. She also wrote Scandal, How to Get Away With Murder and Little Fires Everywhere. The woman is a beast, ya know? Like beast mode. You can “goals” her if you want to, I dare not even try, there will never be another Shonda Rhimes in my lifetime. One day... but not today. I have a small library and more books back home that I always ask my family to ship to me, I’m going to have to go get them myself it seems like. Books are valuable teaching aids and if I really need to manage my hyperactive thoughts in order to sit through an entire book, then I will learn how to do just that.

To embrace teachable moments, you have to look for them, find them, see them everywhere. I'm still learning how to savor the moment, enjoy the space between where I am and where I will be. I’m a Gemini, Cancer cusp with a Leo rising and Libra moon. There’s imagination and then there’s “flowing with it” instead of just “going with it.” Gemini’s are experiencers, we can’t quite learn any other way. I’m also an ENTP- Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceptive; I’m the Visionary type according to the Myers Briggs personality test. I totally relate but that doesn’t leave me much time for the present if I’m constantly innovating for the future. I also read somewhere (forgot now) that Gemini is the master at transitionatory phases. We embrace uncertainty because it means there’s speculation and forecasting involved and what is more mentally stimulating? I guess the end to just about every book then loose interest in reading the rest since there is nothing more to figure out, but I am wrong. “It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.” —Ernest Hemingway The journey is inward, I cannot rush to the destination, just like reading a book. The writer wishes to take you on a journey... Embrace teachable moments...

I created a brand 7 years ago that is still very relevant. After yesterday’s masterclass, I reinvented the message perfectly. That brand will be my masterpiece but it’s all about timing for me... Building a team also takes work because observation takes time. Winning takes time. Creating yourself takes time. When I build a business which is said to fail within the first 5 years (today’s statistics are probably within 1 year) I want to build a sustainable model. I don’t want my business to fail, I expect failures to learn from but I don’t plan on failing. If I do, it will be worth it and until I’m ok with that, my brand will remain in curation stages for another 7 years maybe, we’ll see. It’s more of an experience anyway, it grows with me.

As I said at the beginning of this article, it’s a balancing act. This article took me a week to write, the longest so far and the only thing I had as a topic was “2020 Taught Me... Humility.” When I sat down to write it, rolled out of bed around 7am, I was surprised with what I saw before my eyes. I was actually scared to re-read it, it’s undoubtedly the longest article I’ve written thus far and you know how I feel about reading... I don’t keep or re-read my journals either. Once I write and let it go, my “job” is done. The therapy is in the releasing of thoughts and feelings into words. When I was a teenager, I swore I wrote entire journal entries on boys and often time the same one, why on earth would I want to re-read that? I experienced it and wrote about it, let it go and moved on once the topic was over. The topic wasn’t over, it’s far from over but I had all intentions of releasing this article in 2020...

My Dad used to try to impress humility upon my mind as a little girl. I was an ambitious, over-achiever even in elementary school. I wasn’t aware of my limits. Thank God my Father made sure that gender wasn’t one of those limits. I wanted to be the fastest runner and I almost was, trust me I challenged everyone to race me. There were 2 boys who were known as the fastest, I could never beat them in a race but that’s ok, I’m still friends with one of them today. Today is January 2nd 2021 and it’s time for me to face my fears and challenge (even surprise) myself. This article came from a place of authenticity, transparency, recollection and discovery. Everything I wrote about, I’ve learnt through humility and introspection. Thank you 2020. The lessons are there, they are real, this is real and for 2021, I welcome many more teachable moments. Thank you for reading. I hope you found a few takeaways and even if you didn’t, thanks for your support.