How to Be Your Own Valentine Any Day of the Year

It’s Valentines Day. My feed on social media is filled with opinions about it right now. People making fun of people for celebrating. People drowning in feelings of sadness because they are single, etc.

I have learned through the years that nothings means anything unless we give it meaning. So if you’re drowning in sadness take a look at the power you’re giving to this day that is basically the same as any other day. It takes away the heavy meaning you’re giving it.

Valentine's Day is often associated with romantic love, but it's important to remember that self-love is just as significant. As a life coach who focuses on helping clients love themselves, I believe that everyone, regardless of their relationship status, should prioritize self-care and self-love every day of the year. Unfortunately, society often emphasizes giving to others rather than giving to oneself. However, I firmly believe that when we give to ourselves, our capacity to give to others increases, and we also teach others how to treat us. Giving, nurturing, and lavishing ourselves with love are essential components of a fulfilling life.

One of my favorite ways to practice self-love is by taking time for myself. This means being clear on my priorities and not overwhelming my schedule. By mastering this skill, I can be fully present in each moment, free from anxiety about unfinished tasks. Taking time for myself also involves starting my mornings in a way that aligns with my mood and needs. Sometimes I begin with meditation, other times I enjoy music, and occasionally I indulge in a relaxing bath or shower. Regardless of the specific activities, the key is being fully present and expressing to myself that I have time for self-care. This mindset is crucial in embracing myself as my own Valentine.

Another self-love ritual I enjoy is making my favorite coffee. I keep different blends at home, allowing me to choose one that suits my mood. Whether it's a special occasion with 100% Kona coffee, a regular day with Charleston Roasters, or a quick pick-me-up from a local coffee shop, the ritual of making and savoring a beverage connects me with my body and brings a sense of ceremony to my day. This time spent with myself is sacred and valuable, allowing me to focus on my own needs and desires. Perhaps for you, it could be reading a devotional, the newspaper, or simply enjoying the silence. The key is to create a space and time dedicated solely to yourself.

On this Valentine's Day, I planned ahead to make the day special. This could be a practice you adopt as well. For instance, I took care of household chores like washing my sheets and doing laundry in advance, ensuring a clean and inviting space. This simple act of self-care not only shows that I care for myself, but it also creates a pleasant environment that promotes a positive mindset. Lighting candles, burning incense, or using essential oils can further enhance this experience and cultivate gratitude. The more gratitude we infuse into our self-love practice, the more fulfilling it becomes.

Today, I slept in a little longer, a ritual that I do occasionally when time permits. This practice has taught me the importance of sacred projects and routines. For example, I reserve Sunday mornings for cooking more elaborate things because it’s something I enjoy. Fridays are for acupuncture appointments, followed by a coffee outing. Having these special practices to look forward to each week has been transformative for me. Additionally, I keep a running list of sacred practices in my phone's notepad. When I find myself with extra time, I consult the list and choose an activity that nourishes my soul. These practices are all part of my journey to becoming my own Valentine every day.

Sacred practices encompass a wide range of activities that promote self-care and self-fulfillment. These practices can vary from indulging in an uninterrupted hour of reading fiction, engaging in the therapeutic act of coloring mandalas, curating personalized Spotify playlists, exploring new culinary creations, dancing freely in the comfort of our own rooms, or taking long drives while immersing ourselves in music that resonates with our souls. Each of these practices shares a common thread—the commitment to allocating time for ourselves.

Neglecting to prioritize self-care and constantly catering to the needs of others while overburdening our schedules can have detrimental effects. We find ourselves snapping at those around us, becoming easily irritated, or feeling restless and agitated. Our frustration might even lead us to resent others for their actions or lack thereof. This pattern emerges when we neglect to tend to the most vital person in our lives—ourselves.

Becoming our own Valentine is synonymous with embracing self-love and assuming the role of our own soulmate. We deserve the love and care that we readily extend to others. Each day of the year should be an opportunity to treat ourselves like royalty, to shower ourselves with impeccable self-love. We must fall in love with our lives, deliberately creating situations that align with our passions and desires. This entails engaging in activities that showcase what we love, listening to the music that speaks to our souls, expressing ourselves through words that echo our innermost thoughts, and cultivating a mindset that aligns with our passions. It takes both practice and devotion to truly embrace and nurture ourselves. Devoting ourselves to self-love is one of the most precious gifts we can offer ourselves—a testament to the value we place on our own happiness and well-being.

We have the power to fill our days with the things that bring us joy, to make choices based on our own preferences. We can indulge in our favorite foods without hesitation, watch movies that our partners or friends might never consider, and even write ourselves heartfelt love letters. When was the last time we expressed love towards ourselves? Let's pick up the phone and call that friend we've been meaning to catch up with. Let's treat ourselves to the things we love, whether it's a scoop of our favorite ice cream, a bottle of our preferred lotion, or a loaf of bread from that bakery we adore. Let's proclaim Valentine's Day and every day as "All About You" day—an opportunity to celebrate ourselves. This celebration should not be a sporadic occurrence but a regular practice, for out of the 7 billion people in the world, we possess a genetic makeup that is uniquely our own. Our individuality deserves to be acknowledged and cherished every day that we are fortunate enough to be alive.