Focused

I am too loyal and too focused to be losing or be hopeless. (2Pac)

This quote is how I feel at the current stage of my life. I know for a fact that I have been too loyal to the wrong people for years, and then when I need a hand up, not a handout, there is a difference others want to act like I never did a positive thing for them and then they leave me with the broken pieces to fix on my own. That’s okay because all you did was show me that I didn’t need you in my life in the first place. Now you are the one that is acting funny and wired towards me for no reason at all, and this is okay because what you also forgot to consider was that you were allowed in my space and I was the one that allowed you to be there because I thought that we were on the same page. After all, I wanted you to be there, not because I needed you to be.

Now that I know that your focus is not the same as mines, I have to move you to another place or move you out of my life because your vision and my vision are no longer the same. There is no need to talk to me about anything else because I have seen how you have been moving now, and I don’t like what I see. My focus is too great to waste on others who could give to shits about what we are trying to build together. I don’t give a damn if it is a family member or a so-called friend. I have allowed you to be there because you have building power if you are in my space.

I am not hopeless anymore, and I will not lose my focus because others do not want to take the time to get their shit together and learn from their own mistakes. I am not throwing shade at anyone here; I am only speaking my truth from my perspective; however, if the shoe fits, wear it. I will not keep apologizing for others who are not serious about moving forward with their lives.

I have been mentally in a cage for years, and now I am out of my mental cage, and no one will put me back in it, and I do mean no one. I have refound my voice, and it is here to stay. I don’t have the time to assume things about others, let alone wonder what they are thinking or trying to say to me. If I have said or done something to offend someone, I need you to let me know so I can fix the issue. I can’t go around thinking that things are cool between us when in reality, they are not. I say what I mean and what I say, so if you are in my inner circle, you already know how I am. For those not in my inner circle, you will get a crash course on what I need for us to continue to be on a reasonable level.

I am too focused on myself and my happiness, and you are just the background to my full ground, so failure and hopelessness are not an option for me. I know that the words I am saying in this piece are harsh, but at this point in my life, it has to be this way for me and the development of my dreams and vision because if I don’t protect them, no one else will protect them for me.

Only my inner circle knows my plans and vision, and these are the people that I trust, but at the same time, if and when I see something that is out of line with our vision, then I am going to speak on in because we are working towards the same goals.