Outside

Being outside of me doesn't matter what you think or say because you are on the outside. You wouldn't know all the notebooks that I have notes in to make this book dream come true from the outside. If you choose to tell others outside of your inner circle that you are doing a book or making music or whatever your dream is, those outsiders are quick to try and kill your plan. Over the years, I have found that the real reason they do this is that they are not the ones who are doing the dream that you are doing. They can easily say things like, don't quit your day job or you shouldn't do the plan because others don't care about what you have to say. These types of people are just jealous because, for some odd reason, the very thing that you are working towards is happening for you and not for them. They begin to look at you sideways because you are the one that is making all the necessary changes to make it happen for yourself. No one knows how many pieces of paper you have thrown away because you feel into the thought pattern of negative self-talk, saying things like, maybe the person is right. No one is truly going to want to hear or even read what I have to say.

Well, I am here to tell all of the artists out there, please keep going because this is your dream, not theirs, and if they do not like what you have created, then it is okay because their opinion doesn't matter now, does it?

From the outside, you wouldn't know that I had to sleep on a kitchen floor for years before I could rise. Resting on the foundation taught me many valuable lessons that I will never forget. Now I am not saying that I want to experience this feeling of being on the floor again, but it taught me how to be grateful and humble. No one wants to be on the ground, but at the same time, if and when you do find yourself on the floor, what exactly do you do from there? Do you stay down and not even try to get back up again? For me, the answer is simple to get back up and try again. Sometimes you have to fall and fail hard to get to the next level, but most people will not ever get this. In other words, it is like this, for your house to be built, you have to have a foundation, and if you don't have a foundation, there is nothing for the house to stand on. From the outside, you wouldn't see the tears I've cried, the nightmares I've had, and the mental bull shit that I had to face.

From the outside, everything looks customary to you. On the inside, there are others in this world struggling with mental health issues, and others tend to know this, but they don't care. It's like others would rather see you still stuck on stupid than to see if there is another way for them to be of service to you so you can heal. I have learned that I am my biggest fan and my most valued asset. So if you are in my inner circle, then you already know how I move and operate. I am not the type of person that has drama around me all the time. On the other hand, I do not choose to live like this because we could be gone at any given moment.

So for today, like yourself, this one simple question. Who can I be of service to today and not look for anything in return?