Fixing

I used to think I could fix anything in my life if I just tried a little harder or gave it more time. But some things aren’t meant to be fixed. Sometimes, all you can do is make peace with it and move forward, knowing you did the best you could. (Positive Kristein)

I tend to still struggle with this side of things because, in my mind, I feel like I can fix almost anything that is not right in my life. Now I realize that too many things can and sometimes do get out of my control, and I can only watch what happens and see if things will turn out for my good. I know now that the only person I am supposed to be fixing is myself, and at this stage of my life, that is the only thing that matters to me. I know now that I have to be mentally and physically strong for myself and my loved ones. I can not afford to keep being strong for others when I still have work to do for myself. I know that life can be a challenge, but we as a people need to sit back and look at all the beautiful things around us.

Giving a person, place, or thing more time is ludicrous because the main thing is that we can’t get back in time once it is gone. It took me years to realize that the more time I waste on things that are not that important to me I am not winning but actually losing, and this is not the place that I choose not to be at right now. I have lost so many different things in this life and have now decided not to lose anything else if I can help it. I used to believe that if I just worked a little bit harder and gave more of my time to situations, people, places, and things, the issues I faced would get better, but the more I tried, the worse things seemed to get.

I know now that some things in this world aren’t meant to be fixed, like helping other people get what they want and need and then realizing that the person I was giving everything to was not doing the same thing for me. Sometimes all you can do is make peace with it and move on with your life. This doesn’t mean that you have to be rude or disrespectful of others; it just means that you have decided to refocus your energy on things that matter to you, and believe me, this is not a bad thing. Once I realize that I have done all that I could do with a given situation, I do all I can to move past it because the more that I try to worry about others, the more I tend to get sucked into the mental cycle of evil thoughts and this is a place I will not go because I know how far I have come in this world.

From now on, I am only looking at fixing what I can with myself and not trying to fix everyone else because that is too time-consuming, and I will not waste any more time on a person, place, or things that do not have my best interest at heart. If you are in my life and we are supposed to be cool with each other, don’t sit around and wait for me to fuck up and then talk shit about me behind my back. Instead, take a minute to sit down with me and see if there is anything you can do to help me grow and develop better because if you choose not to do this, I will respond in a way that is better for me, not you.