Fail

The inability to accomplish a stated goal can lead people to view their actions as a failure. However, if you ever observed an infant, you know that they learn to walk by learning to fall first.

Yes, they actively practice the art of falling, so you could say that they spend more times failing the first 18 months of their lives than succeeding.

Researchers found that toddlers learning to walk fell an average of 69 times an hour.

Growing up, most of us lose our infant determination and start comparing ourselves with others, and that Grit inside of us slowly fades away.

“Outsiders look at Silicon Valley as a success, but it is, in truth, a graveyard. Failure is Silicon Valley’s greatest strength. Every failed product or enterprise is a lesson stored in the collective memory. We don’t stigmatize failure,we admire it.”

– Michael S. Malone

Why I embrace failure

All my experiences point to the fact that most of my success comes from past failures.

By embracing failure, I learned to accept myself and my life situation as a part of myself.

Failure is not only an opportunity for growth, but it is the place where I derive my self-worth.

I learned that the more I “fail,” the better myself-worth gets, as long as my mindset is that;

All failures are necessary experiences.

Failure taught me things that nothing else on earth could have taught me. By failing, I learned why the stuff I ignored was valuable to me.

Failure has made me confront things about myself that I wouldn't have faced without failing. My fears and my insecurities were all examen in the light of every failure.

“Go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can because that’s where you will find success: on the far side of failure.”

– Thomas J. Watson, Sr., Founder of IBM

Failure has changed my character. As the Infant learning to walk, failure has taught me that I grow a little stronger every time I fall.

Failure makes me work harder and focus more.

I no longer seek results, I seek experiences and welcome failure.

Failure is an experience with tremendous value that we need to popularize, so a whole generation of young kids can start having a better relationship with failure.

Try to learn from what happened.

I try to live by the premise that failure plays a role in my life.

When I encounter failure, I ask myself four questions:

1.What is this failure trying to reveal about me?

2.What can I learn from it?

3.Why did it happen?

4.How can I grow from this?

Thinking about why I failed and whether I could have done anything differently is a part of a valuable process I go through every time.

I start from the belief that failure isn’t a failure is a learning curve.

When confronted with failure, think:

-Failure is not an obstacle on my way to success, it is the success! —It teaches us What Works and Doesn’t Work.

-Failure is an opportunity for change and improvement. It is an indicator of what is working and what I should keep doing.

Why are we so afraid to fail?

From an evolutionary perspective, failure's only mission is to keep you safe by keeping you small and make you take as few risks as possible.

In modern society, the fear of failure keeps you from trying new things, take on new challenges, or expose yourself to new situations.

“Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be”

— John Wooden

To overcome the fear of failure, you have to understand it and get to the root of what causes the fear of failure. Identify how it affects you, and what it means to fail in your life.

We all have different definitions of failure based on our belief systems and values. What I consider to be failure might be a great learning experience for someone else.

How You can experience failure differently

The fear of failure (also called “atychiphobia”) is when I allow that fear to stop me from doing the things that can move me forward in life to achieve and my goals.

Fear of failure has many causes. For instance, having low self-esteem, low self-worth, critical or unsupportive partner can be the cause for some people.

if you have a fear of failure, you might have found yourself in any of the mentioned scenarios below:

-An inner recisstence to try new things or get involved in challenging projects.

-Self-sabotage — such as procrastination, excessive anxiety, or a failure to follow through with goals.

-Low self-confidence or self-esteem — commonly using negative statements such as “I” can't do this, or “I’m not smart enough to get on that team.”

-Perfectionism — A willingness to try only those things that you believe you’ll finish perfectly and successfully.

It’s almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some failure on a more existential note.

Some people avoid failure live so cautiously that they don’t make any progress within or without.

In other words, they’re not living at all. I use to be one of them.

How to stop Being afraid of failure

It's normal to be afraid of failing; what is not normal is to let that fear stop you from moving forward.

You always have a choice: choose to be afraid and do it anyway.

As I write these words, there's a part of me who feels like an imposter. That's fear talking and an indicator that I am on the right path.

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is a delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

— Denis Waitley

Setting small goals will help you build confidence.

Explore and evaluate all possible outcomes rationally, develop contingency plans, and practice constructive thinking.

Not Doom-day scenarios!

Move forward slowly but steadily, and you’ll begin to overcome your fears one at a time.

Take notes and keep track of all progress.

And remember Franklin D. Roosevelt words;

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.”

Keep creating yourself