Creativity, The Dance of Life

I made a bold decision, and the excitement was overwhelming! You know the up all night thinking, creativity bouncing off every wall in your head! The ebb and flow of happiness, anticipation, stirred with a little fear. My new project could not begin fast enough.

I’ve had a bed of roses in my backyard for almost 20 years. Betty Boop, a sweet pink edged, single layer rose with white centers and petals that unfolded to a delicate landing for honeybees and lady bugs. I had four Betty Boop roses that grew as the first row of color in my raised garden bed. She was a constant beauty, always flourishing with repeated never-ending blooms. Behind Betty was Altissimo, a red single petal climber, soldiering across the wall, separating me from my neighbor. Altissimo was bold, sturdy, and never fading, bright red flowers with legs upon legs of thorn stalked branches. I had moved Altissimo to three different areas of my yard and every time he faithfully grew just as strong as the last place he rooted himself. Next to Altissimo, about 10 feet away, was Golden Showers another single petal climber with a nonstop show of yellow flowers, whose branches rarely needed training. In the rose world your climbers need their young branches bent to a horizontal direction for new branches to grow upward to create the wall of fame or color that you want to show off. And Golden Shower’s branches were easily pliable, so manipulating her body was like aiding a ballerina on a dance floor- she did all the work. In the middle of the rose garden was an unknown rose, possible a David Austin Rose, known for the cabbage-like flowers with a thousand petals. This rose was a favorite. A large bush that only bloomed once a year and when he did, it was perfection! Multitudes of glorious pink, heavy bundled blooms forming a perfect ball. They drooped like large gum drops dangling from delicate thin stems. In the corner was flirty Don Juan, famously seductive red, a typical image of what a perfect rose would look like should you cut his blooms for a vase or to rest in a young ladies hair. To the side of him was Crimson, an orange, red tipped floribunda rose. Just what the name sounds like, Crimson was an abundance of orange flowers that clustered like a group friends at a wine bistro discussing the pleasures of the day. Outside of my roses I had colorful mounds of pink Geraniums, red and white Snapdragons, pale blue Plumbago, and fragrant Rosemary all in containers across my yard. They lived together, under the sun, in unity. To some extent I believe they conversed and shared stories, the breeze was their telephone dancing across their tops and under their leaves, transmitting beautiful communication in my sanctuary.

The last few years my yard was becoming difficult to handle. The maintenance needs of my now twenty-year-old backyard was adding up. The irrigation was breaking, and my patio was getting old, losing its luster due to sun damage. We removed our grass due to a tree we planted that grew large causing too much shade for the grass to grow properly. Eventually, creating a straw, desert look, that faded to raw dirt and dust. Unfortunately, when we took the grass out we replaced it with rock, terribly common as a maintenance option in the valley of the sun. However, rock is rock and the yard was looking drab. Because of the irrigation issues, I had to water my roses by hand causing some growth concerns. In prior years, January to early February, I would trim my roses back to get rid of dead or diseased branches. When I say trim, I really mean a major cutting! Most of my three-to-four-foot roses would end up a foot tall when I was done "trimming". Gently using Fiskars pruning shears for the thicker stalks and simple scissor to kindly remove all little leaves and thin stems. Scissors were more appropriate for delicate shoots and other flowers amongst the garden. I’d add new soil and a top layer of mulch for proper growth and protection. I’d tend to the container plants and add new seasonal color, then move onto the patio structure by rearranging furniture for a new look. In years past everything about my backyard and gardening brought me joy! But a year ago with the many issues going on in my yard I was losing my passion for gardening. Tending to it was hard because all I saw were the problems. When the pandemic hit, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to recreate the yard of my dreams! Being home with no place to go and no plans to see people other than on a Zoom meeting would allow a new intent. But little did I know I would be faced with a pandemic of my own.

March of 2020, I was diagnosed with Cancer. Right after I trimmed back my roses, treating soil with new soil, and removed old flowers to prepare for new, I began a different treatment to my own body. By April first, I was in full swing of radiation and chemotherapy with preparation for surgery in June. At this time, there was no preparation for the next step in the garden, no decorating the patio, no new flowers in the container pots, in fact I never laid mulch down in the rose bed. After the third round of chemo I was battling exhaustion, and at the most, my roses saw of me once a week for a watering. There is something to be said about a well-established rose, they will always continue to thrive! After my first surgery, I was in no shape to tend to anything except tending to my own health which was an obvious concern; preparation for my second surgery was in three short months. Carrying my weak body to the backyard was difficult, and I did the bare minimum which was a hose watering, then picking a few dead flowers from the bushes and tossing them to the dirt, just to head back indoors for a nap. Shortly after my second surgery, I was sent to the hospital for a month with a terrible infection. Leaving my husband to tend to my poor garden. When I did return home and was able to sit in my backyard, I felt unattached, I felt sadly and concerningly unattached. It was November and hubby and I began thinking we should sell the house, our home. It wasn’t a new thought, we had thought about it over the past few years. Staring at all the work that needed my attention, and the much-needed time Id have to give to it, pushed the decision along- I was ready to sell our home! But there was one problem, the housing market was inflating! We knew whatever we got out of our home in a “Seller’s Market” would be great! But we would have to pay three times as much to get the exact luxuries I have inside my home with a new purchase. What do we do? Are we selling for the right reasons? Or do we stay and create?.... I chose to create!

when I gained strength and endurance, I also gained vision. Not the literal senses but the proverbial sense. I had thought about a new home with acreage. All the joys of growing whatever I want from roses to vegetables, herbs to flowers and everything in-between. But with my new choice to stay and create in my smaller yard; I unfolded a plan, a vision of new. However, new also means your removing something old and that meant big decisions. The new plan was laid out, and my new joy was to create a yard of essentials. One of my many joys outside of gardening, is writing. A couple years ago, the place of passion with my pen was sitting in my backyard with a cup of coffee, writing in the weather the universe handed me that day. Whether that be in the summer heat, a spring rain, a monsoon or a beautiful autumn or winter view, and I needed my patio to be that essential place again. That essential became reality! We removed the old concrete, we added pavers and created a beautiful spot under my covered patio, with refurbished table and chairs. Containers of Rosemary, Norfolk pines, and ferns were place on the patio giving me a passion filled view with a slight Tuscan feel. Another essential was laying grass again which airs peace and tranquility, a perfect place for yoga and meditation. Another essential was to add a greenhouse and a vegetable garden. This was the main drive for new home. After the discovery of Cancer, I began soul searching, food critiquing and stress relieving. Though I was a vegetable eater and salad lover all my life, I felt the need to control what I do to my body, how I nourish it better and with what! Organic became a new way of living and feeling; that’s not to say I don’t enjoy a good pizza from my favorite pizza place anymore. I’m just more aware of the better for you day-to-day options.

Unfortunately, the only real-estate I had to grow a garden and/or build a greenhouse was right where my rose bed was. And this is THAT decision! That decision that kept me up at night! The ebb and flow of happiness, mixed with anticipation, and a little fear. The multiple thoughts that equated to- THE DECISION! It was apparent, I wanted something more beneficial. I wanted more space. I wanted less worry and I wanted new essentials. I hired a couple landscapers to come and knock down the wall of the raised rose bed and take the roses. They came on a Thursday at 10am and by 11am the roses were gone! I was shocked! Until I began writing this, I didn’t shed a tear, I was ready for new beginnings. In fact getting rid of the roses for the space they occupied to prepare for something new was exactly how I viewed Cancer! I had to work hard mentally and physically to get to where I am today. Cancer is a mental disease as much as it is physical and being Cancer free gave me a new beginning. My new backyard is giving me new beginnings. It was only now as I described the beauty of my roses that I swell up with emotion. Remembering the care and good fortune I had with them. I cherish the memories but more-so I cherish the passion for gardening. Anytime I can get my hands in soil, tend to the growth, and watch it flourish I am in a happy, happy place.

The Greenhouse is in the beginning stages and will home seedlings, hold my gardening utensils, and be the cultivating area for young greens until they are ready to take root in their new soil. I have galvanized steel beds for vegetables and seasonal herbs and from my patio it’s a visual harmony of passion and dedication. When I look at my new back yard, I see my creation, my expression of life through my ideas that turn into action making life sweet and enjoyable. Yes, I had to remove the beauty of an old landscape and replace it with new vision. I had to remove old pleasures and replacing them with new choices. Ultimately, that led me to my new desire, my new opportunity that I created in a beautiful, and familiar canvas. This is the dance, the two step of life, witnessing splendor, taking glorious advantage of it, then creating and making greatness out of it. From a rose or pink geranium to ripe juicy tomatoes and fragrant basil, my hands touching life and stepping back to watch it flourish, makes me more than happy, it makes me a creator.