Alone or Lonely

Have you ever gone outside and you were surrounded by people, but still you felt alone?

Do you often feel alone in the presence of others no matter who they are – family, friends or just random people?

Then this is a story for you

If you’re like me, there are some days when you accept and enjoy the company of others and other times when all you want is to sit by yourself. Both states of mind are okay and there is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely, but also being lonely does not necessarily mean you’re alone.

Appreciating your own company is the most valuable and important thing in life. It’s a crucial thing in our existence because at the end of the day all you have is yourself so you have to be content with your own person. When you achieve peace with yourself that’s the moment when nothing can touch you. Being aware of yourself and knowing yourself are the keys of success in life. I have to admit that I’m not even near to being that kind of person and achieving that mental state, but I’m working on it and I want to make sure that with each passing day I’m evolving and one step closer to that. It’s hard, but I came to the conclusion that nothing is truly easy in life and things that matter and are important to our growing come from hard work.

I’m the type of person who enjoys time alone, but at the same time I love being in the company of others; do you see the problem there? I love spending time alone and I appreciate that time, but after a while I start becoming sad and like something is wrong and I need validation from another human being. Like I need someone to be close to me and spend time with me to reassure me that I am doing a great job at life; which is not healthy at all. Us, human beings, of course we need reassurance and appreciation from others, but at first, we need to come to an agreement with ourselves. I can tell you that the moment you achieve a small understanding of yourself is one of the best moments in life.

I think the confusion between alone and lonely is present in the minds of many people because we associate someone who is alone somewhere as being automatically lonely. This has kept me from going to a lot of places or events because I didn’t want to be oddly looked at or judged. Still, I try to overcome my fears as many times as I can by going to the shops alone, going out for walks, concerts or out for coffee. However, I do feel out of place and like I need someone by my side in order not to feel so strange. Yet, this has little to do with my self-understanding or knowledge about my own person and more to do with the social aspect of life. The fear of what others are thinking about me and being perceived as a loner. In reality, if you don’t think about judgement from other people, spending time alone and going out alone is relaxing and can be a moment of meditation and contemplation or just a break from everything going on in your life.

Being lonely does not have a positive side. Being lonely eats you alive and has to do to some extent with depression or extreme sadness whilst being alone empowers you.

Whenever I feel lonely or sad or I'm just in a bad mood, the thing that makes me feel better is to go out alone, just me with my thoughts to calm down. Going out for a walk or coffee makes me think straight again and makes me see everything in a better light.

Being alone does not have to escalate into feeling lonely. You have to remember every time that you have yourself. That you are the person who is beside you every single moment, you are the one who picks yourself up when everything’s wrong, you are the biggest critic of yourself and your life, but also the biggest fan of yourself. When the day ends you are there with yourself and no one else. No one can enter in your brain and soul; you are there every single moment of every single day.