Aging And What If

As a live-in Caregiver, the lives, past, present, and possible future of the females I take care of, are lessons to me. I listen to what’s said and what isn’t. I read actions and reactions. I learned many things. One of many lessons I learn is that AGING IS PAIN!

Listening to two caregivers complaining while awaiting the bus.

“I need to get a happier case, because Lola, my new case is always sad and it’s depressing,” Nelly complains to Opal.

“What’s to be happy about?” Opal said, searching through her bag. “She is eighty-nine years old with a mountain of health issues.”

“She had the support of her family and friends,” Nelly informs. “Yet she still made aging seems like it’s hell.”

“It’s hell for her,” Opal suggested closing her bag, glancing at the time on her phone. “That damn bus is late again.”

“I am going to live my life in the present only,” Nelly shares. “As if there is no tomorrow.”

“What if today forgives you and you are alive tomorrow?” Opal asked with furled brows.

“Then I deal with it,” Nelly defends.

“And next month,” Opal pulls her along.

“Whatever happens, happens,” Nelly said checking the time on her cellphone.

“Is that what you plan on telling your children?” Opal asked.

“They will understand,” she says.

“I am not lending you any money to pay any of your bills when you start living as if today is your last day on earth!” Opal fires at her.

Sighing deeply, Nelly tagged her memory, “We have been doing this job for more than ten years and have seen sadness, regrets and so many deaths. You know a better way to live?”

“Don’t you know that many of the people who didn’t plan their lives, live longer than the ones who do? You forget Maggie Lindstrom?” Opal reminds.

Pain lagged behind that memory and Nelly questions, “How do you plan to live?”

“What if?” Opal states.

“Say what?” Nelly’s upper body eased to the left eying her friend.

“I will have WHAT I need, IF I am alive tomorrow,” Opal explained.

“And if you aren’t?”

“Then my children will have something,” Opal alerts.

Nelly’s brain absorbed wisdom and commonsense, then she said, nodding, “Makes sense. If you are alive, then you have something to live on and with.”

Nodding, Opal eases closer to her, held onto her right hand, and shared, “what we learn from the elderly we care for, should give us the power to make better decisions. Their decisions are their lives. We can use their actions, choices, decisions, and lives to improve ours as we age.”

Tears stealing down, Nelly said, as the bus approached, “I haven’t met a case who is happy for her life no matter the success and wealth she has achieved. Is aging that bad?”

Opal squeezed her hand, staring into her eyes as the bus stopped and the door opened. After giving the driver their transfer, they stepped in and took the nearest empty seat to the back door.

Then Opal shared, “all of them seems to give up on life.”

“It’s like aging stole all of their hope,” Nelly said wiping away more tears.

Opal shrugged her shoulders and Nelly attacked, “It’s like you don’t feel anything for them.”

Opal sighed as her best friend’s remark swam around in her brain, then she said as Nelly pulled her hand away, “they are responsible for their lives, and I am learning from their mistakes and so should you!”

“Sorry,” Nelly apologized. “It’s so hard to live with so much sadness and don’t get injured by it.”

Holding on to Nelly’s right hand again, Opal soothes, “Their unhappiness, hopelessness and regrets are lessons for me. I can’t change their lives, but I can improve mine with the help of theirs! So, I will have WHAT I need IF I am alive!”

Yes, it’s hard when working with the elderly and being forced to relive their lives along with the sorrow, pain, and regrets they share. Their lives are manuals. Learn from it. Find your system and work it.

Getting old is wisdom, not pain.

I can’t live without security, so I must plan. If today forgives me and I am alive tomorrow, I will have what I need.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope yu enjoy it.