A Short Story about Ninjas, Bungee Jumping in the Scottish Highlands, and Scientists in the Arizona Desert

Standing on the edge,

I glimpsed over the tip of my shoes and saw the ice-cold river run 40 meters below my feet. The Scottish Highlands are not the coziest environment in October even though the view was impeccable. Before my eyes laid an ocean of red, orange, and yellow trees that reached the horizon. My fingers felt a little numb from the crisp autumn air as I waved into the camera. The hand on my back signaled softly but firmly that it was time and there was no way back. My knees felt soft and all my instincts, my head, and my body yelled at me to stop, to turn around, to hold on to something for my dear life, and to crawl back to safety.

I had to get my thoughts under control. “I want this. This will be fun”, I told myself over and over again. But the words faded like an echo in my head before I even remembered their meaning. Somehow, I had to take back control over my body and this situation. But how?

One of the things I used to hate about fear

was the feeling of losing control over my body. The weak knees, the pressure on my chest and temples, a slight dizziness; it often felt like I wasn’t even breathing anymore. But the worst part was that my body wouldn’t move like I wanted it to move. I wanted to stand still and look calm and composed, which in turn made me feel embarrassed when I thought others would notice that I was actually not cool at all.

The point is, the sensation of fear is almost never rational but usually instinctive. Fear would take hold of me in situations that seemed so small from the outside. That is exactly what I tried to tell myself, but my body just wouldn’t listen. This would happen during a heated argument, before an exam, or telling someone a hard truth. I don’t remember being afraid in particular of the consequences of my actions but still, there was this invisible barrier that tried to prevent me from coming out the other side.

Over the years, I've worked hard to change my attitude towards fear, shifting from annoyance to acceptance. I recognized that in order to gain a fresh perspective and understanding, it was essential to embrace my symptoms. It's vital not to suppress or avoid fear, but rather to acknowledge and accept my body's reaction without judgment.

Let’s look at it from a different angle:

On a project called Biosphere 2, scientists built a bubble of glass and steel in the Arizona desert trying to create perfect living conditions for growing trees, providing nutritious soil and enough air and water. However, when the trees grew above a certain height they would simply fall over. What first confused the scientist led to the insight about the importance of wind which triggered the tree to grow deeper roots.

Just like the trees, we need resistance in life to grow deeper roots that keep us from simply being knocked over. Fear is a pivotal part of life and our natural development. It not only signals that we need to be alert but also helps us maneuver risky situations and grow with them.

In the end, I have learned to view fear as a sign that certain aspects of a situation hold significance for me, which is a positive thing. When everything is said and done, I would rather be in a place where significant events are occurring even if this means facing fear, rather than spending every day in a neutral space where nothing ever happens or flourishes.

This perspective had me welcome fear like an old friend who makes sure that I am aware that this, right here, is new and can be pretty exciting.

Theoretically, that’s all nice and well.

Standing on a ledge with 40 meters of air between your legs certainly puts this philosophy to a test. I needed something that drove me forward with excitement instead of forcing me to do something my whole body clearly resented.

A positive self-image can be a powerful tool to motivate yourself. Thinking about the person you try to be can subconsciously trigger a lot of wants and needs and therefore lets you tap into a hidden pool of energy. I always had a strong imagination and my fantasy could create scenarios in the blink of an eye.

An image emerged before my eyes.

The sky turned dark. I was standing on the highest roof, my face and body hidden under midnight-black fabric helping me to become one with the shadows. A Katana, the weapon of a Japanese shadow warrior, on my back. Like a predator, I was patiently waiting in the dark for the right moment. My mission was the only thing that mattered right now and I knew exactly what to do. No matter what awaited, I was anticipating the challenge. It was time. I took a deep breath and pushed myself off of the platform. I let out my battle cry and dove into the depths like a raptor hunting its prey.

The strong pull of the elastic rope around my ankles transported me back to the Scottish Highlands. Adrenaline and serotonin rushed through my body. My heart was beating like it wanted to jump out of my chest but I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt like laughing uncontrollably.

Relief and happiness mixed, creating an exhilarating rush of emotions. I felt invincible like pure power was running through my veins. My mind had just battled my strongest, primal instincts, and won. Suddenly, I had an epiphany, unveiling an irrevocable truth, crystal clear and absolute.

I instantly knew that “I can do anything I set my mind to.”

Not just now, but for the rest of my life. I understand that some may consider my sentiment as exaggerated, but I recall this particular moment with such clarity that it might as well have happened yesterday. The potential had always existed, but I had not yet comprehended its full meaning.

The battle happened inside of my head and I had to witness firsthand what I was capable of. It was essential to go through the process of experiencing the paralyzing fear, accepting and adapting to it, and finally acting despite it. Fear had been like the ferryman out of my comfort zone and I had to pay him first.

I was pulled back up to the platform and immediately asked: "Can I go again?"

-

Hey, I'm Moritz Bauer and you have no idea how much I appreciate everyone who reads one of my stories. I am just a guy trying to entertain you for a bit and share some of my thoughts and ideas with you.

If you want to like or comment on my articles here on vocal.media that's so cool but you seriously don't have to. Thanks so much for stopping by and I know it's a crazy world out there at the moment but I just want you to know that I truly believe that the good will always prevail. Do something nice for yourself and may your toothpaste never fall off of your toothbrush.

Ciao.

My Instagram @moritzxbauer

My Portfolio Moritz Bauer Portfolio Overview

My Twitter Moritz Bauer