A bedroom, the black hole

As the saying goes, “man plans, God laughs” and no year has laughed at our plans as much as 2020. It wasn’t even a kind chuckle, it was a belly laugh that will resonate well into 2021 and will leave us with repercussions for years to come.

For me, the symbol for 2020 will be my bedroom. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have always liked my bedroom, and it always served its purpose (i.e., to sleep and provide a nice reading space). However, when COVID-19 hit and Barcelona decided to go into a strict lockdown, my poor bedroom had to be transformed into an office space and that’s where our relationship started to become a bit strained.

What used to be a safe space from work concerns and the outside world now became the epicentre of day to day life. The new chair and monitor were quality of life improvements to support the new flurry of activity: meetings with development teams, calls with customers, arguments with sales. All of those transplanted right next to my bed!

They say that the reason we forget something when we go into a room is that the doorway actually works as brain reset when we cross it. Annoying as it is when that happens (leading to “what did I want from the kitchen?” moments), I have come to realise that is actually therapeutic. Leaving the house to work — and coming back after the working day — helps us to define proper boundaries, switching from domestic and professional persona and vice-versa. Working from home denies us this small blessing.

That’s why I am afraid to say that my room might have become a black hole of sorts. I wake up, grab a coffee and then gravitate towards the desk, sit and look at the screen for the working hours, then proceed to look at another screen for leisure time. Energy is nowhere to be found, sucked away into groundhog days that take a long time to pass within months that flew by us.

However, I shouldn’t be this hard on my room. After all, it’s not its fault that this year went the way it went (or that the living room was deemed a “work free” space). It kept doing its work well and — for a black hole — it ended up having its bright spots.

In the middle of all the work and all the concerns, my room was also the place where — via the Internet — I strengthened and created friendships, discussed pretty much everything and found people to share the weight of 2020. Did I expect to celebrate a birthday within four walls? No. Did I celebrate it anyway? Of course! We have no other choice but to live in the now.

The lockdown removed many of the distractions that come with day to day life and, while not a solution for routine settling in, it brought some extra mental space to discover what makes us tick and what was just noise. Even with the walls closing around us, this was a unique opportunity to get in touch with ourselves. I even started to write again — something I doubt would have happened without so much free time stuck at home.

This time in my room helped to understand which friends I do miss and not just the ones that are usually available; see what is actually bringing joy in life (which definitely includes cooking more) and also to define priorities moving forward. The walls close, but we get to have a good look at ourselves and get to learn about us.

With that extra knowledge in mind, It was also a sneaky good year to just let go of things. So much of how we feel comes out of habit and breaking it is the first step to free yourself from past pain and look forward to the opportunities that await us.

So, when I think of 2020, I will think of all the lessons I’ve learned in my bedroom. Good or bad, life keeps moving forward and — unlike a real black hole — we can go out on the other side and keep looking to the future with high expectations. That, however, will not stop me from finding a house with room for an office.