11 Signs Someone Is Secretly Depressed

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11 Signs Someone Is Secretly Depressed

What does depression look like? Most people would probably picture someone who is so hopeless that they can't get out of bed or function in their day-to-day life. But the truth is that many people suffer from depression in secret. They look happy, and they seem to be managing their lives. You might even describe them as successful and pleasant to be around. Some people with depression can seem like they lead a perfect life on the outside, but on the inside, they struggle to cope every day. You might be completely unaware that someone in your life is suffering from depression; and they might be, too. People often brush aside negative feelings and refuse to acknowledge symptoms of depression because they fear being seen as "weak." The symptoms and challenges of depression can vary from person to person. But, there are some common signs that someone is secretly suffering. Here are 11 of those signs:

Number 1 - They Wear A Forced 'Happy Face' And Always Make Excuses Everyone has a mask that they put on in certain situations, but some people wear that mask all the time. And the longer you spend with them, the thinner their mask wears. You might catch a glimpse of their true self during an honest conversation or in a moment of silence. Forced happiness is a difficult mask to wear every day, and so people who are depressed tend to minimize the time they spend with others. They often make excuses to avoid socializing or back out of plans last minute.

Number 2 - They Are Overly Emotional People with depression have a tendency to bottle up their emotions. But those emotions don't disappear. Instead, they overflow at the slightest inconvenience. If someone becomes volatile over small things, it could be because depression overwhelms them with emotions. They might cry, become angry, or even have an emotional breakdown in response to something most people would normally brush off.

Number 3 - They Seem Unable To Concentrate Depression can cause problems with memory and concentration. So, if someone keeps losing their train of thought or struggles to pay attention to you during conversations, don't take it as a personal offense. It could be a symptom of hidden depression. Studies suggest that these difficulties with concentration can make depression worse, since they negatively affect a person's social life. Depression can even turn a quick-witted individual into a slow thinker over time.

Number 4 - They Are Good At Creating Cover-Up Stories When someone suffers from depression, they're more likely not to return calls; they miss appointments and feel drained all the time. And if they don't want you to know about it, they start fabricating cover-ups. Sometimes, they lie to you because they're lying to themselves. They might refuse to acknowledge their negative state and attempt to hide it from everyone. This sign of depression isn't easy to spot. However, if you start to see patterns of flaky or secretive behavior, it's safe to assume that something is wrong.

Number 5 - They Complain About Unexplained Aches And Pains Most people think of depression exclusively as a mental illness. But it negatively affects the body, too. Those who suffer from depression are three times more likely to develop chronic pain than those who don't. That’s because the body often reacts to emotional pain with an immune response that causes chronic inflammation. Sadly, depression is severely underdiagnosed. Even if someone with depression sees a doctor, their treatment is more likely to focus on the symptoms of aches and pains than the source.

Number 6 - Their Sleeping, Eating, Or Drinking Habits Have Changed If someone displays a drastic change in their eating or sleeping patterns, something is wrong. Our physical and mental health depends on a healthy diet and proper sleep. So if a person has trouble sleeping or is sleeping way more than usual, it could be a sign of hidden depression. People with depression may also lose interest in food; or go the opposite direction: trying to cope by overeating or binge drinking. It might provide relief temporarily, but these habits can cause severe long-term damage.

Number 7 - They May Talk More Philosophically Than Usual If someone’s quietly suffering from depression, you might notice their conversation topics turn more philosophical. Depression often causes people to ponder things like the meaning or purpose of their life and the weight or absence of their accomplishments. They might bring up topics related to happiness and the search for it or a desire to change their life path. If they feel comfortable enough and open up to you, they might even reveal having dark thoughts of wanting to hurt themselves or even death. Talking about these kinds of topics is a clear sign that someone's struggling internally.

Number 8 - They Seek External Validation People with concealed depression tend to be hyperaware of both their positive and negative traits. They are often perfectionists who struggle to accept their weaknesses and failures - and they expect others not to accept them, either. So, they strive to be perfect as a way to gain affection and external validation. They worry that if their imperfections are exposed, others will no longer love and accept them.

Number 9 - They Struggle With Abandonment Depression is a heavy emotional burden for those who experience it, and for their loved ones. Since depression causes struggles in one's social life, it's not uncommon for others to leave them behind. And while those exiting the relationship can't be blamed, it can still cause a sense of abandonment. Thus, people with depression often hide their emotional state out of a deep fear of being abandoned.

Number 10 - They Only Project The Happy Parts Of Themselves Although positivity is a virtue, it can be toxic, too. When someone suffers from depression in secret, it can be hard to admit that life is hard at times. Instead of being honest, they might overcompensate by posting only happy things on social media, refusing to admit that something is challenging or upsetting, or pretending that they're never sad.

Number 11 - They're Searching For A Purpose Just about everyone is trying to figure out life as they move through it. But those who are depressed tend to search for meaning to validate their existence and calm their fears. They might drastically change their mind about where they want to live, what career they want to pursue, or who they want in their life as a way to disguise their weak points. Instead of seeking their identity and purpose with self-reflection, depressed people tend to endlessly search for something in the outside world that will bring them purpose or joy.

Millions of people suffer from depression, and for many of them, their loved ones are unaware. Fortunately, there are treatment options. From lifestyle changes to talk therapy and medication. There is a way out of depression. Whether you have a friend or loved one you suspect might be hiding their pain, or it's you suffering, a deeper understanding of concealed depression will help you take positive action.