The only child who cares

It’s not about being nice, that won’t get you what you want most of the time, its about believing your worthy of that thing / things you want, it’s about believing you can get it / deserve it.

Let me give you an example. When i compare people in my family, I can see a big difference.

My mother and her brothers are completely different people. They do not love the same like my mother does, and to be quite honest I dont think they love anyone at all besides themself but see, thats why they have everything they have ever wanted and my mother, well, she don’t. My mother’s brother's have made it very clear they only care about themselfs. One of my mother’s brothers has not been near or by his mother for twelve years and the other brother only come when he feels like it. The reason for this is not because their mother didn’t give them everything / care about them, it’s because they care more about what they want and what suits them.

Im going to tell you the reason why I believe this isn’t the worst thing. I don’t believe it’s right but I do see the benefits that come with not caring about whether their mother dies or not.

My mother's brothers have made it very clear they do not want to deal with their mother, even if the poor old lady is sick. Its never them taking or even visiting her in the the hospital it’s always my mother. When there is a doctors appointment who’s taking her my mother, when she needs shopping, my mother, when she wants to go out, my mother. I understand people will think, why does it sound like I’m complaining, why do I see this as a bad thing for my mother when she’s only doing what any decent child would do right. Yes, she is she is doing what she has to do but its what she has to do, not what she would like to be doing… everyday.

Im going to explain what my mothers life is like compared to her brothers and why I wrote what I wrote in the beginning. It’s not about being nice.

My mother is one of those people that likes to help others but it can go way too far. She will get herself in problems that she doesn’t need to be in. She will naturally focus on what is going wrong with other people's life and forget about her own. She’s always there for other people's needs. Her brothers are the complete opposite. They come and “help” when they think they will get something in return, the whole getting something in return business doesn’t go through my mothers head when she comes “to the rescue”.

I will explain more about why being nice doesn’t get you anywhere for the most part. See, my mother does it all she makes sacrifices, puts her life on hold for people around her, including me, her child but when I see what she has compared to her brothers, she doesn’t have as much as them, including her health, mental and physical. Her brothers on the other hand seem to be thriving, they have everything they have ever wanted and they don’t give a damn about anyone besides themselves and their lives. Like I said before, is this a bad thing, is it the worst of the worst, or does it just make sense. The way they think, is about getting something in return and the return they want is not love or even appreciation it’s about that pay check.

It’s foolish to believe in “if I'm there for you, I will be looked after”, it’s foolish to believe people are going to give you the same back “just” because you make sacrifices. In all honesty, a lot of people don't care about what you have done or have been doing, they do not care about how it is affecting your life and maybe others around you, they are just happy they don’t have to be the ones to do it.

I have herd my mother's brother say to her “well i can’t visit mummy in hospital I have a job to do”, keep in mind he is a millionaire, or “I can’t take mummy there (yet again) I have a job to do”. But doesn’t he ever think, “well my sister (who is working class barely any money at all) has a job to do and can’t really sacrifice missing it”, um… no. But it doesn’t matter because like I said him and also the other brother millionaire's. So, do you see what I’m saying about being normal, being what you are supposed to be, loving, caring, a decent child to your parents and a decent person to everyone around you ,doesn’t always get you to where you want to be. Sometimes being like this takes your freedom away, your dreams don’t mean a thing anymore because you have other important things to be doing, even if you are the only one doing everything. My mum always says, when she goes to sleep her conscious is clear, when she dies her conscious is clear, true but what are you getting now ,is what I think to myself. We can all think about the outcome and the fact that people can never call us selfish and the fact that some people will praise us for being good / caring people, we can all feel great when people compare you to others and say, how you are so much better then them (and they ain't lying) or that you deserve so much more then them (which is true) but are you getting more ? No, you are not.

This is not be telling you to be selfish but this is me explaining why some people succeed and others don’t. People don’t succeed because they are caring people (for the most part) people succeed because they put themselves first no matter what (even if it means not taking your poor old mother to the hospital for whatever reason or caring about her wellbeing).

Before I end this I’m going to clear something up. My mother loves and cares about her mother, that is why she does what she does, she don't always want to but she does it. Some people sense of fulfilment or happiness is giving to others, thats how some people can feel ok in their existence on planet earth, others its what they can get for themselves and only themselves to make their life better. No offences to my nan I love her too but I can still see the benefits that come with her sons not caring, no stress, no worries, looking as fit as a fiddle / doing what they want. The most important word for what they have is freedom the most important word for what my mum has is love but love can keep you trapped.