What I Learned About Myself When I Took Myself Out On The Date To The Opera

Before I entered the relationship with my partner I used to go on dates with myself. I still do this from time to time. This weekend I took myself out on two dates.

I’ve realized how much I missed myself.

You see, I used to do a lot of things “alone” — dine out, travel, go to the cinema, theatre and attend parties. This weekend my partner is out of town so I spontaneously decided to go to the opera to watch Rigoletto. Additionally, my partner is not a fan of opera, so I had no reason to wait for him.

As I entered the Uber to leave for the State Opera House, the driver turned to me and asked, “Are we waiting for someone else?”.

“No, just me.”

When I arrived at the Opera House the ticket lady asked, “Are you alone?”.

“Yes, just me.”

The ticket lady escorted me to the third floor to my private box. Thankfully it was empty so no one could ask me the tedious question once again.

I’ve enjoyed the opera that evening, especially since for the last year I’ve been making a lot of decisions with my partner. Quite often I speak in “we” terms. And “we” have different opinions on opera and on many other things.

I forgot what’s it like to spend some time alone and speak for myself.

I’ve forgotten how much I enjoy theatre, opera, and ballet. Spending time alone helps one find their own opinions, preferences. Because knowing what you like and prefer is very sexy.

The next day I signed up for a fashion and design festival. It was a huge international event. I used to attend these events all around the world before I met my partner.

We used to have a long-distance relationship for over a year. It worked out great for us, we are still together and stronger than ever before. Why?

Because I never fear being alone.

I enjoy my solitude, perhaps many writers do. I know how to entertain myself in any situation. The more you practice entertaining yourself, the more you learn what you want in a partner. The more you learn about yourself.

I found that especially when you are in a long-term relationship, it’s important to reconnect with yourself from time to time. Often it’s said that our partners make us “whole” — I don’t think so.

I think our partners are an amazing sweet addition to us. They don’t make us whole.

You make yourself whole.

My good friend called while I was at the fashion show.

“I admire you for having the courage to go every day to a different event alone. Tomorrow I will take myself on the date too!”

Seems like being alone can inspire others to feel comfortable doing things they want to do without awaiting company. Some people might think, "A night to myself? What am I going to do?!"

Many of my female friends end spending the nights alone at home, watching TV, binge eating, calling me up, and then getting bored or even having two or three glasses of wine. These nights do need to end like that. Once a friend told me, “A night to myself will be very boring. The others will judge me and think of me as a lonely cat lady.”

Nonsense! You don’t live to impress others. You live for yourself.

And trust me, one of the best ways to nurture ourselves is to plan a date night out — alone.

That evening at the fashion show I got to know a lot of cool new designers and exchanged contacts with them. I also bought myself clothing. Going out alone encouraged me to indulge in pampering and acknowledge that sometimes I deserve to be spoilt.

I value my freedom.

What I love about going out on self-dates is that I can choose whatever I want to do. It helps me reconnect with myself, and reminds me who I am, what I love, and that I can feel amazing on my own.

It also helps me slow down. I am a spontaneous person and I hate having a timetable and sticking to it. I enjoy my creative chaos. No one is rushing me to be somewhere and I am not letting anyone down if I change my mind about certain plans.

I’ve learned to adopt a “now” attitude and stop putting things off or waiting for someone to accompany me. The more I started doing things alone the more I become self-assured, independent, and self-sufficient. If something doesn’t go well, I have no one else to blame just myself and own the responsibility for it.

Being self-satisfied on your own is important to your sense of self-worth.

It’s important for you to realize that you’re okay all on your own. Time alone can be exciting and sometimes very needed for your own emotional growth.

Even when you’re in a relationship, it’s important to have alone time outside of your partner and family. It will help you get to know yourself better, which will make you a better partner and family member.

We have all entered this world on our own, but that doesn’t mean that we are “lonely”.