Weight Loss for Lazy Girls

I’m in my early 40s, and through hard, consistent work at the gym and a well-balanced diet, I’ve managed to more or less stay the same weight since high school.

Then the pandemic hit, the gym closed, and bread-baking happened.

But wait. It’s not what you think. Not yet.

I bought a Cubii and made getting in crazy good shape my goal for “Lockdown #1”. Summer 2020, I was down 10 pounds, toned, and felt like a million bucks strutting the beaches of Georgian Bay in my hot pink bikini.

Ah, if only you could bottle that feeling.

As the leaves changed and autumn came, the second lockdown was both unexpected and depressing.

I swapped “thriving” for “functioning” and soothed myself with a variety of comfort foods. I.couldn’t.stop.EATING, exercised dropped off even my "maybe-do" list, and I spent much of my time in the fetal position.

Confession: I went downhill, fast!

I’m not sure exactly how much weight I gained because I stopped getting on the scale once I passed the plus-15-pound marker. I began to pick my clothes based on what still fit (or about 20% of my closet).

Then, Christmas came and went, and with eyes on a long winter-in-lockdown ahead, I became laser-focused on getting back in shape.

Enduring the pandemic for so long leeched my endorphins, and everything felt like a chore. So, I researched and developed a plan knowing I would be limited both emotionally and physically.

Regrets are the junk mail of life.

Every December, I select a word or theme for the following year, and for 2021 I picked “CARE.” Meaning I promised to take excellent care of myself, my loved ones, my clients, and my community.

So, without beating myself up for where I was, I committed to celebrating that it would never be worse than right now. And with each passing hour/day/week/month I would be further away from "here."

Then, I settled on a strategy that would be gentle, repeatable, and add minimal suffering to what would inevitably be an already dark winter.

Four months later, and my abs (and wardrobe options) are back, baby.

Boring-but-necessary disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional, and you should always consult your doctor.

Ok, now here’s my 4-pronged approach.

Make the “IF” trend your friend.

Commonly known as IF or intermittent fasting, this method limits your caloric consumption into hourly windows of feast or famine.

There are many variations to the program. The most common is 16/8 for men and 14/10 for women.

So, I don’t ingest anything except water, zero-calorie tea, and black coffee (yuck ~ I hear you) between 7 pm and 9 am.

After the first few stomach-growling days, my body adapted, and this was no problem.

The only gripe is the coffee. I love mine with caramel syrup, cream, chocolate sprinkles, yum. I never got accustomed to the black version and dreaded it every single day.

Then, a colleague in an online group suggested I start dividing up my cup into 3-4 shot glasses. Think about it: you can do just about anything in a shot (I’m looking at you, Tequila.) Boom, quick and painless.

150 minutes of weekly movement.

According to fitness gurus, 30 minutes of exercise, five times per week, is the magic number. Generally, I work out for half an hour, Monday to Friday.

But rather than committing to this set daily time, on days I feel more lethargic, I start, do what I can, and pinky swear to catch up the next time. Same as on days I have more energy. I go a bit longer and bank it.

This flexibility gives me permission to bail whenever, so it’s not “30 minutes or bust.”

I change the self-winding script into: “GO and start, do as much as you can, know that something is better than nothing, and tomorrow’s another day.”

You’d be surprised how often I end up doing the whole 30 minutes or more!

The cardio isn’t strenuous and is in addition to my semi-constant Cubiing and stretching at my sit/stand desk. Some days I hula using a weighted hoop, pounce on the stepper or go for a brisk walk.

Substitute naughty bites for good gulps.

I swap bad snack choices for healthy alternatives that I love *almost* as much. I make sure I’m stocked up on them, and everything’s grabbable. Then, I don’t feel deprived (which is a giant motivation killer).

Flavored Perrier instead of Pepsi. Cottage cheese, sliced turkey deli meat, berries, granola, beef jerky… YESSS.

I nibble while I write (= all day). A favorite crunch-filled treat: baby carrots and celery sticks in a 2-second super-dilly dip. Mix one cup of low-fat sour cream with a quarter cup of dried dill spice.

As for my sweet tooth, I overdose on teas. Chocolate, vanilla, peach-ginger sorbet, maple, yum. A warm, soothing treat on a cold day or an icy refresh after a workout, plus antioxidants galore. You can dessert-all-day-long for few or zero calories. Slurp.

Consume less than 1500 calories.

Once per week, I enjoy a no-holds-barred cheat day and eat whatever I want, non-stop. For the other six days, I consume less than 1500 calories and try to make them as clean as possible.

There are some days where I go for a coffee and can’t resist a Boston Cream donut. So, I’ll make up the difference and catch up at supper.

What’s worked well for me is either halving my dinner meals and saving the leftovers for the next day’s lunch or opting for something filling and delicious to tide me through the next 14 hours.

Winners include two bars of Shredded Wheat cereal with almond milk or a bowl of soup with a lightly buttered toasted English muffin topped with a few slices of deli turkey.

That’s it! Consider this lazy girl’s weight loss secrets confessed. Happy pandemic pudge-busting!

“Your body can stand almost anything. It’s your mind that you have to convince.” - Author Unknown