We Must Learn To Enjoy Our Alone Time More Often

I love having company. I like catching up with friends and finding out what they have been up to, and there is nothing more I love than a good coffee and catching up with all the hilarious things that have happened to them during that time.

I also love quality time with my husband who never fails to make me feel like the happiest woman alive, whether we are cuddling, chatting, out, watching television or getting up to the really silly things that we do on a daily basis!

However, I like spending time alone with myself; and this is really important to my mental health and self-care because it helps me to mentally unwind, let go of stress and take all-around care of my physical and mental health. During my alone time, I will read, write, study, exercise, take care of my body, meditate and do whatever is necessary to create inner peace with myself.

Besides caring for my physical and mental health in ways that enable me to relax and let go of stress, I also dedicate a portion of my alone time to organise my articles, clean and organise my house, sort bills and do home improvements.

Doing this means that I can mentally recharge without having to worry about all the things I need to do the next day.

Many couples like to do bills and organise the home together. Whilst there are some things that I and my husband do together, there are other things I like to do alone

because when I am stressed out, it fills my head with unwanted noise, and when you have a mental health problem like PTSD, that unwanted noise can make it very difficult to be able to concentrate or create inner peace.

It is important to all of us mentally, to be able to have alone time not just to focus on relaxation and physical care, but also to be able to take care of our own personal responsiblities

. There are aspects of responsibilities such as sorting my clothing bills, shopping for the things I need for personal care, sorting out my own personal space that I do better when I am alone.

I also find I study better in the quiet, and if I am writing a lengthy piece, I do that better alone.

Spending time with oneself is also useful because it helps us to identify with who we are as individuals.

We can get lost and easily wrapped up in everyone else to a point where we literally absorb the people we know. If we do this too often, we find we can't see ourselves and we end up unconsciously losing our own unique individual selves.

Take my story below.

I had a friend in the past who was into all the trends, not only was she into trends but she was extremely pretty, fit and confident. I spent almost every single waking minute with this friend, to a point where I forgot about who I was.

I started turning into her without realising it.

I found myself unconsciously copying everything about her, and I became obssessed with being just like her. My confidence and self-esteem became very low because I was recognizing her in me, rather than actually seeing the real me.

This had nothing to do with me being unhappy with who I was. It had everything to do with the fact that I spent so much time with her, picking up on her traits, that I picked up on her personality whilst forgetting the importance of valuing myself for who I was.

I didn't notice how much I had let myself be strongly influenced by her. I had nothing against her; I admired her in many ways. However, my friendship became toxic because there was no space to focus on myself.

Everything became about her without me realizing it. I then went through a stage of transference, where she also couldn't see me anymore. She saw a reflection of herself instead of seeing me as individual.

However, I allowed myself to become toxic to her because I allowed myself to become so attached, that I forgot to be my own person.

While I was doing this, I wasn't aware of it. However, my friend did notice it and she became worried about me and our friendship.

She realized that I was becoming her. It made her feel bad about herself because she liked me for my own individuality. She felt that it was her personality that was destroying mine.

We talked about this and realized it wasn't this at all.

When you spend all your days with one person, you can't create a space in your mind for yourself. Your mind becomes completely wrapped up in the other person, and without realizing it, you start colliding and behaving like that other person because you haven't given yourself space to do you.

We didn't ever stop being friends. However, we did put some space between each other.

We agreed to see each other twice a week instead of every day. This way, we were allowing each other to breathe and have that much-needed quality alone time.

Quality alone time is important, even in a relationship or when you are married. It enables you to do the things you like just for yourself. By doing your own thing, you are able to mentally maintain your sense of person.

Enjoying our alone time has positive benefits, in the sense, it gives us time to do something just for ourselves. This is also important to our mental health because alone time creates a tranquil and peaceful space where we can identify with our own thoughts and do the things we enjoy doing for ourselves.

It is essential to our well-being

This is important because it helps you in learning to just be yourself.

Remember always give yourself quality alone time. Alone time allows you to recognise yourself.

Too much time in the company of others can become toxic and unhealthy. You run the risk of losing yourself instead of being yourself.

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