Grief is a natural and healthy response to death and loss of all kinds. Learn how to cope with the emotional pain, move forward and reclaim your happiness.
6 Things to Know When Coping with Loss
Everyone at some point in their life faces a jarring, unexpected change. It may be the death of a loved one or beloved pet, the end of a friendship, the loss of a home, or any other drastic event that changes your life from that moment forward. The author of this article is not a licensed psychotherapist, but he has experience with a great deal of personal loss of many different kinds. Here are some things that have been helpful in learning to cope.
Grief’s a funny thing. Not hilarious, but funny as in weird, the way that it can creep up on you silently or smack you full in the face and destroy you. It doesn’t wait until a convenient moment when you can prepare for it and meet it with hope and determination. It’s almost as big an asshole as the cancer that causes it for so many people. Grief was never taught manners, it has no sympathy for you, and it certainly doesn’t care that you have things you need to be doing. It’s been said that it’s a necessary evil of life; one of the steps in a process to recover from loss. I don’t see it as a step so much as a recurring theme when it comes to loss; one that never completely goes away, but one that eases with time, guidance, and distractions. In 2012, within the span of two months, I lost two of the most important men in my life to cancer. There are days when it doesn’t feel real, and as though I’ll wake up and see them again, hear their voices, and share in their laughter. Crushing, cruel reality breaks in and grief visits again. There are barely words to express the hopeless feeling that nothing will ever be the same again. That when all I want in the world is to talk to them, instead I have the knowledge that they can’t hear me, or respond the way I need. I believe their spirits are living on in me, in everyone they touched in their short lives, in the sky, the trees and the earth. I don’t believe there’s a God who has a reason for taking them away from me, or any higher power who has control over these things. It sometimes feels as though a grander scheme is at work, but at the end of the day, every one of us is responsible for how our lives turn out. Preaching and crying to someone who can’t hear you and cannot physically give you comfort or strength seems fruitless to me.
When Years Pass and You Are Still Grieving
This is something that irks me, to no end. I felt compelled to write about it and I’m not exactly sure how it will sound in written form but here goes.
Looking back at the age of nine, I had no worries at all. Cheerleading was my passion at the time. I would go to school, then practice, and come home. It was an everyday routine. I could only do cheerleading if I had good grades, and boy did I study hard.
Life After Death
It's a part of life for people to die. No matter how much they are loved, no matter how much they are needed, it will still happen. I personally hate this fact.
How To Come to Terms with a Sick Loved One
It's a touchy subject, I know. No one talks about it, no one tells you how to cope. It's hard when someone you care so much about is hurting and you can't physically do anything to help their pain. Back in October of 2015 my aunty was diagnosed with a terminal illness and given 3-5 years to live. I want to talk about how I learned to come to terms with this as best as I could.
Losing Loved Ones
One of the hardest things anyone will go through in life is losing someone they love. Losing someone close to you is like getting thrown in water and you’re trying to swim, but you can’t; you’re drowning. You keep gasping for air, but you aren’t getting any.
Around mid-July I was listening to the radio, just cruising in my red truck, with my radio blasted on an average day to work. My ears were suddenly perked up by a story I began to listen very intently to on WM-PR. This was the story of a woman whose name was Tanya. In my mind I imagined her as woman who had ruffled, short, Jet-black, and spiky hair. She wore a leather jacket and a crop band tee-shirt along with stone-washed, ripped jeans.It wasn't so much the punk-rocker image as much as the angry glare on her face and the craving for darkness that stuck out to me. As she began to evolve to me I fell deeply into her story, I fell in love with this image that so accurately described me seven years ago; I was tough,and I was hardened. My heart was impenetrable and I loved only as deeply as I could feel; which wasn't much more than a paper cut. I became quiet, dark, angry, fiercely introverted and deep into myself. I understood Tanya, and the pain she felt. Tanya had a rough childhood, she had been abused, unloved,and no one could reach beyond the dark tower that she had built around her heart. For a person who loved words and connecting with people, I became the opposite for many years; a person who could only connect with my demons.
Loneliness is a disease that can't be cured by anyone else but yourself. The disease found me before I could embrace what was before it. I could still remember all those times when I was younger and full. I could listen to any song with a smile on my face. Never thought to understand any of the lyrics or really "listen". Life to me was a beautiful thing and I was a part of it. Hopefulness filled the air that my lungs took in. In return, my lungs would breathe out anything that could push me down. I grew up optimistic. But that was when I was younger without a care in the world. An era of my life when I would walk outside and feel inspired by the butterflies that flew around my dusty porch or the pretty flowers that crept peacefully in cracks of the sidewalks. Feeling like I was on top of my world. My world soon began to crumble down into those cracks of the sidewalks but no flowers would arise from those. No, my world would be secured in darkness. A journey I was not ready to take.
Why We Need To Change How We Look At The Face Of Addiction
Chances are you know or have interacted with someone who suffers from drug addiction. For me, I've seen it my whole life. I was introduced to this pervading illness and the effect it has on those around it when I was just a child.