I’m a 23 year old aspiring writer, who writes a selection of work inspired by my personal experience as a Brain cancer patient as well as a selection of creative writing pieces! All money earnt from any views is for charity!
Before I begin with my next open and honest account of my own cancer journey, I must warn this is an open and honest recollection of my feelings of survivor’s guilt—a feeling I went on to learn was surprisingly common among several of us throughout the brain cancer community.
Sometimes when something happens to you, you have to tell the story from the beginning to have your side heard. Nothing ended that day how I thought it would, and I have to tell you my secrets and criminal activities to honestly paint you the whole picture. I know you will judge, that is your purpose as a jury. But this is my story, as a mother, a working girl and someone who’s life changed in an instance. So here’s my story:
Where Our Love Grows...
Laying on my back, legs in the air… being in this position was the closest thing Sam and I had to natural conception. I was starting to spend more time in this position with a doctor’s hands inside me than intimately in this position with Sam. I had everything crossed, except my legs which were uncomfortably forced into stirrups, that this would be the last time I had to endure the 180 minutes of total hell.
In My Darkest Hour
Natural instinct is to want to live forever, but not all of us feel that way. I can empathise with those who take their own lives or want the pain to go away. Depression and the feeling of hopelessness when living with a chronic illness are clearly different, but those feelings of emptiness and wishing the pain would go away can be incredibly harrowing to someone who wakes up every single day in pain.
10 Things I Learnt From My Cancer Diagnosis
1. Not all things that happen for a reason are good things. Picture it. 15 years old and loving life, I was getting more and more socially confident and finally connecting with a bigger circle of friends; life was fantastic and I was excelling. I had exams coming up and revision was going well, except I kept getting these weird health problems which I was being seen at the doctors for. April 2010 comes along and I am diagnosed with a Low Grade Brain Tumour. My hair starts to fall out from stress, I fall into a pit of depression and become socially withdrawn. I then spent the majority of the rest of my mainstream education in and out of hospital. How could this be happening for a reason? Around comes results day and I scored top of my year group; despite barely being there. I had nothing else to do except study and having one to one tuition in the hospital improved my academic levels ten-fold! From here I’ve gone on to achieve high standards of A-Levels and commit to a degree, when my doctors at the point of diagnosis told my family I’d be lucky to have function of my brain, let alone survive past the age of 20 years old.