Sleep Apnea

My New Year's Resolution is to find good, restful sleep... for a better Tanya!

I was diagnosed with sleep apnea when I was almost 31 years old, but I'm sure it has been there all of my life, just like the bipolar disorder has been. When I was diagnosed, my doctor told me that if I lost weight it would help the apnea. I told him that if he could do something about the apnea, my metabolism would rise and I would lose weight. He always argued that point with me. I fought with the CPAP and my anxieties for over a year and then I just quit. If I was able to fall asleep with it on my face, I would tear it off in the middle of the night or I would wake in a panic, because it felt like someone had a pillow over my face. There are many people that have issues with the machine, so they just don't use it. Can you imagine trying to sleep with a hose hooking you to a machine that is blowing a significant Constant Positive Air Pressure into your mouth and/or nose??? :-( Think about it! BUT the alternative is to sleep knowing that you stop breathing every 5 minutes or so and the longest "apnea" was 45 seconds....those were pretty much my results. Scary, huh? I can't even hold my breath for 45 seconds, how can that happen when I'm sleeping and me not even know about it?? Crazzzzy, right?

Well, a couple of years ago, I proved that first doctor wrong! I was finally able to contain my anxieties and sleep every night for months with the CPAP and I dropped 75 lbs without changing anything else. Then I had a VERY anxiety raising experience and gained about half of that back. The last month has been a slightly less anxiety month and I have been able to sleep with it pretty regularly and I have lost 20 lbs in the last 6 months.

So sleeping with the CPAP is better for my emotional, physical and spiritual health. As a result I can wake up early and tune in to my favorite guru, Panache Desai's, morning meditation, which starts my day on a very positive note. And that leads to me getting my life organized and more writing done. Writing has been very helpful in healing traumas and getting my mental health on a better path. But I still have a very long journey ahead!

I have also developed better sleeping habits, such as meditation, waiting until I'm sleepy to go to bed and taking melatonin. I will be organizing my life and home so that I can become more active alternating between qigong and yoga. And more active in another creative art or two, that should also help enhance my writing and my mental health goals. I am taking baby steps for now, but with better, restful sleep, it will get easier and easier to accomplish all of my goals.

We are all getting older with each passing breath and I greatly enjoy my independence! But I have to get stronger physically and mentally to maintain that independence. And this is the year, 2022, that I will begin that journey whole heartedly. That is the promise I have made to myself and my family. I didn't give them that promise aloud (no reason to put THAT kind of pressure on myself!), but they will most definitely reap the rewards of a nicer, more independent Tanya! :-)

I think what I need next is the perfect mattress!