Self-Care

Self-care is one of those words that doesn't have a set definition. It's all based on the perception of the individual. Almost a year ago, my therapist would always ask what I was doing for self-care. Those two words sound self-explanatory, but, I was confused about what that really meant and how it pertained to me. I remember getting frustrated because I couldn't find a concrete answer. Each Google search was something different. Until one day, my therapist simply said: "Self-care is discovering or participating in the fun and relaxing activities you choose to do." At the time, I thought I was being tricked because there was no way that could be the answer. After almost a year of trial and error, I've finally figured out the relaxing and fun things I enjoy to do. I've listed the top ten ways to enjoy self-care.

1. Wine

I might be stating the obvious for some people, but sometimes it's not just about the wine. It's creating a particular routine to enjoy every sip. I personally love things with sentimental value. We all have our favorite bowl to eat cereal out of or our favorite coffee cup to drink from. But, have you ever had your favorite wine glass? A glass that has meaning or that will change your mood instantly something that no one knows not to touch or even stare at. Once that is established. Sit back. Relax and enjoy every sip.

2. Enjoy outside

When was the last time you've stopped and looked around? We are all surrounded by an abundance of oxygen. We breathe it in without much thought. But, have you ever just stopped and admired a tree? Or walked barefoot on grass or sand at the beach? I get it; we all now are accustomed to look down at our phones "Liking" and "Re-posting." A lot of anxiety will be alleviated once you put the phone down for a second and enjoy your surroundings.

3. Sleep

The saying "I'll sleep when I'm dead" should be buried with the dead. To live a productive and organized life, one must practice and learn that sleep has many health benefits. I'm currently curating a nighttime routine that allows my mind and body to unwind. A hot steamy shower helps the muscles feel more relaxed. The temperature of the room, the layers of sheets, the firmness of pillows, and the bed itself play a fundamental role in how well we sleep. This is a personal struggle that I deal with at least two to three times a week. Some nights are harder than others. If sleeping isn't in your sight yet, then try just laying down. No phone, no TV, and no background noise just merely lying down. It can be a form of mediation.

4. Finding a hobby

What are your interests? I've found this one to be difficult. I never sat down and focused on what I really like or have an interest in. When in doubt, list it out. Creating this list can be an eye-opener on what you want. Some of the items on that list you've probably haven't done. Now would be a perfect time to dive in headfirst and discover the agenda. Remember: Self-care is merely finding what makes you happy. The keyword is YOU.

5. Massage

In this day in age, so many of us are continually grinding to fulfill a goal, whether that be making extra money, working on a project at work, or frequently showing up to social events to pitch your company. If you are physically incapable, then reaching those goals will take a little longer than expected. You will be surprised at how much stress and anxiety we carry in our bodies. Sometimes we need a professional to ease that pain with techniques to make us less uptight and more in tune with our bodies. Not only will your muscles thank you, but also, you will leave feeling like a new person.

6. Calling A Friend

As I've gotten older, the friend circle has gotten smaller. People are living their lives and have families to take care of. The last thing they would expect is a phone call from you. The act of laughing can release so much stress throughout your body. You don't have to think about rent, car note, or how terrible your job mistreats you. Sometimes it's just best to keep the conversation light, but the laughs heavy. Not only will you feel good, but the person you called will also feel great because they weren't expecting it. This rule also applies to family members.

7. Seasonal Cleaning

We've all heard of the term "spring cleaning", and sometimes it's best to have an annual cleaning. How many contacts do you have on your phone? How many of those contacts do you actually use? Go through your contacts and for each connection, you will either put a Y or an N after the name. For example, Nick-N. Once you've gone through each and every contact, choose ten contacts. If most of the ten are N's, then you should either 1. Reach out and see if they would respond. If the majority of the N's respond with "who's this" then it's in your best interest to erase those names from your list. By the end of the month, you've sifted through 40 contacts. Sometimes removing deadweight is the best physical experience you will have. You now have closure. Other examples of seasonal cleaning are organizing next year's tax information, cleaning out a dresser drawer, and donating your clothes to charity. When we feel like we are in a clean living space, our minds sometimes will follow.

8. Say "NO"

Your sanity is way more critical than ruffling any feathers. Saying no is the most cost-effective way of living a self-care life. You don't always have to feel obligated to help everyone. You can't help others if you have no clue on how to help yourself. If the person in which you said no to understands your reasoning, then you shouldn't feel guilty.

9. Taking A Day Off

What's lovely about PTO (paid time off) is that those hours are yours. You've earned them. So, start using them. Those hours shouldn't only be used for a vacation. Sometimes it's relaxing to take a mental health day off. Hopefully, you're with a company that has the employees' interest at heart. If you are currently unemployed, make sure to ask about their sick and vacation time policy. Your brain would thank you.

10. Affirmations

I know it feels silly to look in the mirror and say, "I love myself" a million times, but sometimes it's a great reminder that you are a priority, and to be useful in this life, sometimes you have to do a wellness check on yourself. Speaking certain things into existence gives you something to look forward to and to shift your focus. Most of us don't get the love and support that we deserve, so it’s best to be your own cheerleader and hype yourself up from time to time. Self-care is being present and focusing on what your mind and body need. Affirmations take tons of practice, but luckily some of these affirmations are created for you with one Google search.

Living a fast pace of life is only temporary. It's healthy to treat yourself along the way. The only way you will honestly know your likes and dislikes is to try new things. Being stuck in a rut and being burnt out with your career and finances can cause significant depression and anxiety. It helps to create a balance to make your life come full circle. You can have your job, study photography, read a book, and hit the gym at the same time. Understandably, you are willing to be open to helping others, but you can't help others if you can't help yourself.

"Self-love is asking yourself what you need—every day—and then making sure you receive it."–Unknown

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