My First MRI Scan. Trapped inside a Tunnel of Magnets!

Having received a rather insensitive letter from the National Health Service informing me I had ‘SUSPECTED CANCER,’ it was time for me to face a new challenge. A Magnetic Resonance Imaging scan, more familiarly known as an MRI.

These scans are no mystery to me however. The truth is, I’ve seen hundreds of them performed as hospital porter in the 1990s. Back then, when patient confidentiality was just two meaningless keywords stuck together, I was allowed to sit and watch the entire procedure as doctors discussed the patients condition.

When the scan was finished, I would wheel the patient back to the ER often knowing their fate before they did. I will never forget the time a young father was found to have an untreatable brain bleed. I joked with him all the way back to the ER as if everything was normal. Then later that evening, I watched his grieving family say their last goodbyes before I finally took him to the hospital mortuary …

I know how awful and shocking that story sounds, but it is a reality of life that many people don’t get to experience. Hospital Porters carry a lot of emotional baggage, so when you see one, say hello and give them a friendly smile. They are likely on minimum wage!

These poignant memories of the past would mean that for me, having an MRI scan for the very first time was not going to be emotionally straightforward. My long battle with PTSD and penchant for catastrophising the future certainly wasn’t going to help either. But sometimes life just decides things for you. Now it was my turn.

Walking into the MRI room, I glanced straight at the mirrored glass beyond the scanner and looked at the radiographer with suspicion. Is it going to be just you and a doctor in there? or will there be an audience eating hors d’oeuvres and watching the show?!

After telling myself it was 2026 and breaches of patient confidentiality couldn't possibly happen any more, I lay in position at the neck of the tunnel. My heart racing.

The radiographer could see I was very nervous and tried to reassure me, then placed a weighted mat on my stomach, gave me some earplugs to put in, then asked me something I didn’t expect …

‘Would you like to listen to some music while you’re inside?’

I can’t tell you how relieved I was. For me, music is the only thing that can truly calm me down and make things easier. I’m listening to classical music as a write this, but for the MRI scan I knew exactly what my choice would be. Joe Satriani; My favourite artist of all time. He has helped me through every difficult part of my life and will do so again and again.

I was now inside the tunnel!

While I had witnessed many MRI scans, I had no idea what they actually felt like. If anyone has ever seen the ending of Stanley Kubrick's 2001 A Space Odyssey when Dave is travelling through the time-hole thingy, it’s a bit like that; except with weird electrical noises and lots of banging and clanging.

At first I was rather terrified. But then a blast of cool air blew over my nether regions and I began to relax. After some time inside, my favourite Joe Satriani track ‘Flying in a Blue Dream,’ began playing and I began floating into space. Suddenly, the radiographer is looking down at me, telling me it’s all over.

I actually became rather reluctant to leave. I was rather enjoying the meditative experience of the magnets and thought if I stayed in longer I might get to fly through the universe or even meet Jesus. When I stood up from the scanner, I was so relaxed I nearly fell over. That would have been embarrassing!

So now I await my results. While there is obviously a certain amount of angst in knowing my fate, my MRI experience has taught me that things are not always as bad as they seem. Whatever happens from now, I also know that music will be a vital part of my treatment and recovery as it really helped calm me down. Next time Joe plays in the U.K. I will pay for a meet-and-greet and let him know.

Thanks for reading.

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Originally published at https://medium.com/p/e3f606086956