My Autism

Autism is something special to my heart. My younger brother who is 22 years old has autism and has epilepsy. He has dealt with struggles up and down the road. I remember the years that my mom would struggle with taking care of my brother and I and our two little sisters. I would always help my mom as much as I can with my brother, because with me being the oldest child, I helped with whatever I could. But then things changed this one day me for in high school. Some of my teachers and I had a meeting to go to about me. So they called my mom and put her on speaker. My counselor was present in the meeting also. I was a little nervous about the meeting. I didn't know if I was in trouble, or if I was failing a class, or something happened that involved me. Then my counselor asked me, "Do you know why you're here?"

I replied, "No ma'am."

"We have been observing you in your classes and had you take tests. We discovered that you have been diagnosed with Autism," my principal told me. I was so confused at first, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. That is why they would pull me out of class and make me take tests. And they would also send someone in my classes and watch me and observe what I was doing. When I got home the day after the meeting, I ran into my room and cried for hours and hours. So many things were running through my head. "What if people think I'm slow?" "I'm going to get teased by everybody." "What if my friends don't want to be my friends anymore?" When I finally got myself together, I went and talked to my mom about how I felt. She really helped me learn about the type of autism that I have.

"Asperger's is like autism, but it's on the lower spectrum," my mom told me. While I was in high school, they put me in special classes to help me. As years go by, I have had some struggles with my autism. When I met my husband I was so scared to marry him because I thought he couldn't deal with me and my autism. I thought he was going to judge me for having autism. It was the total opposite of what I was thinking. He accepted me with arms wide open. He didn't care what I had, what I looked like, or the color of my skin. I was still going to be his wife. Then I had my kids. I was scared that I couldn't raise them. But I met a couple who both had autism and they had a baby girl. So, that couple really gave me courage to be a mother with autism. The thing that I really struggled with was that I would try to get a job, but once they found out that I had autism, they would not hire me at all. Or, when they found out, they would let me go right there. There would be times where I had to hide and lie about me not having autism. But then one day I said, "Why am I hiding? I should be very proud of who I am." Where am I now? Now, I am a mother of two wonderful kids and a wife that has autism, and I am very proud to be autistic. If you have autism or know a family member or a friend with autism, support them and love them. Don't be afraid to shout it from the rooftops: "I have autism and I am very proud!" Stand up for autism.