Living on the Spectrum

I became a mom when I was 24. I turned 25 three months after my son was born. I was the first of my peers to have a baby. The mothers I had met through the hospital’s new mothers’ group were all older and they already had had children. I didn’t mesh well with them. I really had no idea what I was doing, I just learned as I went along. I didn’t know that some things that were going on were not “normal." Things like my 6 month old FREAKING out over sensory things—bath time or any water near him, certain onesies and socks, or a complete meltdown when we changed diapers to Target brand and by complete meltdown, I mean ripping the diaper off the second I got it on and other adversary reactions to seeing said diaper brand. For me, it was just all things my child did.

As he got older I did start to think things were “different.” He didn’t respond to his name really. He ran wild everywhere. He seemed to seek out things that were fast or spinning. He wasn't gentle. He had no concept of personal space. When I talked to my pediatrician, they didn't seem worried so I didn't think anything of it. We were asked not to come back to several story hours at the local libraries because my son’s behavior was disruptive to the other toddlers. It was embarrassing and I isolated myself further from other mothers and kids in our community.

We did have a few moms in a group whose kids were younger than my son be we would enjoy the playground or home playdates as a group. When my son was about 3 ½, a friend suggested calling child outreach to get him screened for Preschool through the town. In the back of my mind I knew that my son would need resource or a behavior plan at school, but he was VERY bright, he had started reading at a little under 3 years old. I started researching online and taking a few questionnaires to screen for Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism. My son scored on the very informal online screeners as possible SPD and ASD. Again, the pediatrician didn’t seem worried. (We’ve since left this practice). The child outreach program in our town was not operating at the time, but just after his 4th birthday I was able to get in touch with the program director at the school district’s preschool and she had a spot for him starting that September.

After the first day of school, his teacher (a very respected and knowledgeable special education teacher in the district) asked me if I wanted to meet with the occupational therapist and start the ball rolling on an IEP. I agreed and by January my son was receiving full services. He was eligible for services under developmental delay. He moved on to kindergarten and first grade with this eligibility. He was receiving everything he needed at school. I'm thankful for the small neighborhood school and both his classroom teachers and his special ed teacher. By the time he was in 2nd grade, his IEP needed a reevaluation. We found an excellent pediatrician who was able to diagnose ADHD and SPD. He suspected ASD as well but was not able to diagnose.

The question of Autism always hung there. We wanted an answer. One way or the other, we loved him just as he is but we deserved and answer. We found a research program and we were able to have a full evaluation. He was found to have Autism Spectrum Disorder. This didn't change anything. But it did help explain some of the odd behaviors (lining up things, rigidity, and obsessions) and the difficulty with social and emotional skills.

I always say I have a chronological 10 year old who is academically 14 and socially and emotionally 6 years old. He loves things like Pokémon and his Wii. He reads and talks about cars, technology, and chemistry like a professor and loves to watch Charlie & Lol”, Curious George, and other calm, quiet, kind shows geared for 5 year olds.

He is a fascinating, smart, and funny guy. Sometimes, I am beyond frustrated with behavior and the forgetfulness, impulsivity, and inattention that comes along with his disability. I love him just as he is and I would never take a “cure” for his acronyms.