Life: for Those Who are Swimming

I already know that this post will trigger some readers if not most, but it is a subject I've been pondering on for quite a while now.

There are so many posts that I've seen on the internet that include videos about 'what NOT to say to a depressed person' or 'what NOT to do around an anxious person.' And the content becomes almost like a guilt trip to those who have said certain things and have done specific actions that the video or article tells you NOT to do. I know it is more for awareness and the importance of showing people that is a very serous matter, and it is. I don't think it's a joke or an illusion at all.

We're sorry for the things we do that may add towards negative feelings that probably doesn't help at all, and we're sorry for the actions/words we subtly do or say without thinking that might pluck a nerve, but like most dividers in this small world, it is commonly put down as a common misunderstanding. Like the title says, I am here to write about the people on the other side of the coin, in hopes to bridge the gap between 'normal' people and those who are going through heavy-weight challenges in life.

For me, as a person with personal views and feelings, I have found it hard to understand those going through depression as I haven't experienced it myself (I don't want to speak too soon), and though I have friends who have had/has it, it is still something too unfamiliar for me to grasp. I know many of you may well educate me on that.

I have asked the question 'are you okay?' I have suggested ideas as to how they can make themselves happier... basically, I have done all the wrong things in the eyes of someone going through depression, and as friend, it is super hard to tell whether I'm making them worse or am I actually helping them in any way at all. I have come across those who lie and say they're fine and thanks for the advice, and one of my closer friends honestly told me that they're not okay and it's not me, but I can't do anything to help them but thanks me for trying anyway.

Sometimes it comes as shock to us, and it becomes straining trying to figure out what to say after a sudden mood change. The last thing we want is for us to be seen as heartless bad guys, but it seems that sometimes, it really can't be helped. I've been pushed away before and I've been ignored, and people just say 'please, understand' but that's just it. I can't understand.

According to Wikipedia:

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behavior, feelings, and sense of well-being. People with a depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, angry, ashamed, or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, experience relationship difficulties and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide.

It can last for days, weeks or even years and it is baffling to me that one person can feel all that at once, yet there are those who describe depression as being numb, not being able to feel anything at all, when that description shows that those who are going through it are just a bundle of emotions. Negative emotions yes, but emotions nonetheless.

I hope you can see what I'm getting at here. We're all trying to swim in the ocean that is our lives, and to me, I want to reach out and help those who are sinking but it's as if they've just tied their ankles to a rock and have kept their arms by their sides watching as the rest of world swims around them. And they watch them swim with a sort of longing yet annoyance.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not some super happy person that doesn't go through emotional/mental hardships. I know what it's like to be socially anxious to the point that I kept having to go to the toilet to just breathe. Worrying about what wrong thing am I going to do next, why bother trying when I'm never going to be good enough anyway. I have felt all those feelings described above under the umbrella of depression... but no, I'm not depressed.

In my time of unemployment was when I experienced being emotionally low, and when I got over it, you know what my friends and family said to me?

"Yeah, you were getting quite annoying, I just wanted to slap you in the face."

"I was getting tired of hearing about your not-problems."

"Finally, you've pulled yourself together!"

I know, pretty brutal right? But it is the truth, that is the way it is. It can be hard, annoying, frustrating for "normal" people like us to know what to do and say when you're going through hard times, but the best way for us to hear your drowning voice is for you to tell us the truth and you'll realise that you're not alone. And perhaps, when the thundercloud above your head passes, you'll see yourself in a different light.

With the increasing amount of people being diagnosed with depression and anxiety everyday, it almost loses its seriousness. More people having it makes it seem like it's a norm for people of this generation to go through at least once in their life. And to me, that is a VERY sad way looking at our one life, that it all boils down to one end. I shake my head at the statistics growing about mental illness and it's power over us. Once you're diagnosed, you become labelled, (though not everyone does this) you then let it become you and the stranglehold it has on you becomes bigger than everything that makes who you are.

You can be a talented singer, writer, seamstress, dancer... but once that label comes in, you become only that, and that is sad.

But hey, I'm still young, I may well go through it at some point in my life, and until then, I'm sorry about being accidentally ignorant. I'm sorry if I say the wrong thing, and I'm sorry if this post offends you, but as the lame excuse goes 'It's 2017..."