If the Humor of Dirty Jokes Eludes You, You’re Either Naïve or Old

Thankfully, my husband has always been a compassionate man with a lot of patience, willing to explain the ways of the world to me. As a young newlywed, I was innocent. Mom never delivered “the talk” and only asked if there was anything I wanted to know on my wedding day. By that time, I pretty much had it figured out. Dad believed his responsibilities in this area consisted of telling me, in general terms, what not to do.

Punch lines

Because of this lack of dialogue, the details on this topic often eluded me which created disadvantages. Let me clarify. There was no problem in the bedroom, but I did struggle finding the humor in the punch line of adult jokes.

My husband, three years older than me always took time to explain what I did not understand. Once at a bar, a friend told a long story about going to the bathroom. While he stood at the urinal, he noticed the man next to him had the letters, WY, tattooed on his penis. I sat captivated and didn’t realize until late in the story that his experience would end in a joke. The friend explained his surprise because he had the same tattoo. When he commented to the man standing next to him that they must have girlfriends with the same name, Wendy. He was told, “No, man, mine stands for Welcome to Jamaica have a nice daY.

Everyone at our table laughed until their sides hurt, except me. I whispered in my husband’s ear, “I don’t get it.” Instead of ignoring or belittling me, he calmly reminded me of how some businesses advertise by writing messages on balloons. I nodded my head without gaining any additional understanding, “Yes?”

So, he continued to point out that when the balloon’s flat most of the letters can’t be read.

“Yes?”

“After filling the balloon with air, all the letters are readable.”

“Yes?”

Randy rolled his eyes just a little to show frustration but not so much to make me feel bad. “Well, if a man had a tattoo on his penis, when it became enlarged . . .” All the stars aligned, and I got it! By this time everyone at the table was tuned into our conversation, and we had something else to laugh about. I have never been above laughing at myself.

Dog erections

Another time, on a camping trip, our dog had a large bump on the lower portion of his tummy. I showed it to my husband who brushed my worries off, unconcerned. Determined to find the cause of this growth and thinking the worst, I started asking others who were camping with us if they had ever seen anything like it. Silence filled our group and then snickers emerged until finally, someone in the group explained that their dog was in heat. I thought it was interesting that they shared that information with me but returned to my concern.

My persistence required Randy to begin a conversation he hoped to avoid. He explained the birds and the bees in the life of dogs. My little male dog had an erection.

Parenting

Needless to say, I figured out the facts of life. Randy and I welcomed two beautiful children into the world, and I swore they would not have to learn about sex haphazardly. As children, we read children’s books about reproduction and I tried to be open. I remember a time our small family sat in a circle on the floor reading a book about naming body parts. We would look at pictures and say the names, kind of like learning animals’ names. But instead of saying a cow says moooo, we were saying that’s a vagina and that is a penis. Then we said the words three times like a game. “Vagina, Vagina, Vagina.” “Penis, Penis, Penis.” My husband wanted to curl up and die.

I guess old habits die hard because conversations about sex remained difficult. Thankfully, by the time the girls were teens they knew everything. Sex educations classes had stepped it up a notch since I was in school. Maybe I should have been concerned about their choice of friends. Anyhow, I knew they had it figured out when I began asking them questions.

As a middle school teacher, when students said something in the classroom, I asked my daughters if I should be upset. When they got married, and I continued to ask questions, my son-in-law thought my lack of slang humorous so he bought me an Urban Dictionary. I am not ashamed to admit, I used it often.

Old age

Now, I am pushing 60 years of age and have lived an exciting life. Unfortunately, working as a school principal exposed me to unimaginable experiences, including looking at “evidence” of dick pics sent to students on their cell phones. Believe me those are images that can’t be erased.

It seems new words are developed daily that require defining, and I am not going to Google them. I did that once and it was not pretty! I am no longer innocent, but I still call my daughters for explanations from time to time.

When we travel in our RV, we play a lot of games. Recently, my daughter, Kat, gave me one called, Memes. My husband, brother, sister-in-law and I were excited to play something new. Now, I believe Kat had an ulterior motive when she gifted us this game. She wanted to see how many times I would call her to ask for definitions. During our first round of the game, I texted her this picture.

Nobody knows my relief to learn that Froyo stands for frozen yogurt. I was afraid I was going to learn about some new sex position — from my daughter. However, knowing is better than the images in my head, especially now that I know the definition.

With age, I am accepting that the more things change, the more they stay the same. I still find myself not understanding. But, as long as we laugh I can handle being the reason for the humor.