how to develop your intuition

Right up front: I may not be the best person to tell you this.

I’m a professional Daydreamer In Denial (still working on the name and the copyrights). I self-sabotage, I rationalize what I am sure will turn out to be a hot smelly pile of bullshit, I hit my head against the desk after all is said and done, moaning “why didn’t I trust myself?”.

But maybe that’s why I’m the best person to tell you this.

There are two layers to intuition, and we’ll get to the other issue later. First – let’s hear the intuition.

You might be wondering if you even have intuition. I know I did. I remember feeling very wary and confused about the mystical Spidey Sense we’re all supposed to have. Because, let’s be real, that’s exactly what it is and Stan Lee must’ve had incredibly well-developed intuition to have created his Marvel empire, and then not just sustained it, but expanded it.

See, I usually assume from the get-go that most world-class renowned, successful people have great intuition. Whether they know it or not.

You’ll often hear things like “no one believed in my vision, but I knew it was right”. Or some other variation.

That, ladies, gents and no-binary folks, is intuition.

When logic says one thing, but deep inside you know the right way is the opposite way.

Well, that’s all poetic and all – how do I unlock this superpower, though? If you’re thinking right now that you don’t have a grand vision or a grand purpose you want to pursue against all odds, how’s any of that helpful?

The answer is, it’ll be helpful when you need it. Right now it may fly over your head straight into the trash can, but when you need to hear it, you’ll remember it. Just, trust me on that.

Now, intuition isn’t just knowing you should do something; intuition is also when you feel like you shouldn’t and it’s actually a lot more common. That’s the feeling you’ll recognize on some level, a feeling you likely have on a daily basis. Your intuition which you’ve been ignoring.

It’s okay, we’ve all been here. Not trying to guilt-trip you or anything.

The problem is, we have this vague sense of “yeah, I know this”, but when it comes to facing the issue in real life, we suddenly forget everything. Then, we weep afterwards about how “I knew it!”.

Why would we fall into this trap every single time? Better yet, why do we not recognize the gut-feeling for what it is until it’s all over and we can pick apart all our mistakes at 1 a.m.?

Short answer – trust.

We’re taught to rely on logic our entire lives (logical), and to base our reactions on calm reasoning (makes sense).

But that’s not what intuition is. It’s the exact opposite of what intuition is. Which is why, personally, I struggled to tell apart intuition and anxiety for quite a long while.

Is my gut telling me to stay home or is my anxiety telling me to stay in my comfort zone?

Is my intuition alerting me about this person or is my paranoia kicking in?

Am I being pushed to do something more worthwhile with my time than play Sims 4 at the ripe age of 21 – or is my anxiety just not letting me wind down and relax?

Yeah, it’s a tough contest. Jury’s still out.

So, if you have anxiety – congratulations, you’re halfway there!

Okay, I think you have a good idea of what intuition is and feels like, but it’s kind of common knowledge and you’ve never had any luck identifying it, right? How do you actually do it?

First step is to not listen. But mindfully.

No, wait, don’t close this tab, I swear it’s gonna be helpful.

The truth is, at first you have to recognize the specific gut feeling, the goosebumps, the vague foreboding feeling or the invisible pull towards something. It’s going to be unique to you and different in different situations. But to know what it feels like to you, to notice it in the first place, you have to ignore it.

What do I mean by that? Start by pausing every time you have multiple options. Whether it’s a decision, a question on a test, a video game or a menu to choose from – don’t just pick. Pause, try to gauge how you feel about each option, and do it quick. The first feeling, the initial reaction you’ll get, is your intuition. Everything afterwards is rational and we don’t use brains in this house.

I’m kidding but not really.

Take note of the option you felt most pulled towards, if you felt repulsed by some other, maybe remember it too, then make the decision how you usually would have.

It’s that simple!

(Not easy, oh no, it’s not nearly as easy as it sounds, but –)

With time, you’ll notice patterns, how the feelings correspond to certain outcomes and you’ll start building trust with your inner guidance system. And you’ll get into a habit of checking in with yourself before taking action, making a speedy inventory of your feelings. Very useful and very healthy.

So, that doesn’t sound that bad, does it? I mean, if you’re really easygoing you might make it a smooth-sailing experience.

You are bound to face some roadblock, though.

For me, the whole process went like this.

Stage 1

I don’t even think to listen to my intuition. I don’t even think to think of this kind of stuff. My life is full of struggle and invisible forces always taking a piss out of me. I don’t know what’s going on. At all.

Stage 2

Someone makes me aware of this whole real-life Spidey Sense thing, and I, a big comic book fan and devoted geek, certainly jump at the occasion to have something akin to a superpower. It’s the closest I’ll ever get, right? It’s worth a shot, right?

Stage 3

It’s a lot harder than I thought, is what it is. I try to listen to myself. Every time I make a decision, I pause and try to gather how I feel about the options. Then I do what logic says and face the disastrous consequences.

Stage 4

Turns out logic fails me 9 out of 10 and somehow I’ve just never noticed. Intuition scores some trust points and cautiously, I start following its lead, at least in small insignificant decisions.

Stage 5

Turns out intuition is right 10 out of 10, but I really don’t like what it says sometimes, so I don’t listen and face the disastrous consequences still.

Hey, we’re only human, can’t be perfect 100% of the time.

The hardest thing for me, once I started trusting my intuition, was accepting it knows better.

And here’s the second, deeper layer! What an onion.

Once you learn to listen, you might find that you don’t agree. Not just because you have your logic and reasoning, but because you have your desires and attachments. And one day you may think of a thing you really, really want and feel your intuition going “nu-uh, baby, that’s not good for you”.

I don’t know what you will do, but I tended (sometimes still do) to pretend I know better.

Even when I know it’s going to bite me in the ass.

I came to a conclusion that intuition is pretty much like an inner parent that gives you advice and doesn’t force you to do anything, instead watches you spiral into a pitfall of mistakes just to stand over you, sigh, shake their head and go “I told you so, didn’t I?”.

By the way, if you ever get this feeling out of nowhere that you should stop procrastinating or have a piece of broccoli, it’s your intuition being a mother hen.

At the end of the day it’s a lot of trial and (mostly) error. But the process of learning to trust your inner voice, of basically trusting yourself, forces you to stop and get in touch with who you are and want you want instead of going on autopilot.

You can always choose to ignore your intuition, like most people does, but I think it’s pretty neat to have a Bad Decision Tingle to guide you through life, especially when the world seems to be on fire and slowly falling apart (to hopefully reborn like a Phoenix… or something?).

The more hectic the world gets, the more illogical it gets – and I feel like we’ve all been wondering is matrix is glitching? Everything’s been going crazy and not making sense the last couple years? A collective sense of Alexa, play “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes – rational thinking is becoming straight-up useless.

I think it’s a good time to get to know your inner self.