How I recovered from an unknown illness

CRIPPLING FEAR

We live our lives daily not knowing what’s going on in our internal world of our bodies. We get up and lie down imagining that all is well even on our bad days. It all takes that one stimulus to trigger or awaken what has been festering deep within us. It is this event of the stimulus that puts us in fight or flight mode; true survival instincts begin to kick in depending upon our own beliefs. In relation to this, we receive subconscious messages through our dreams, feelings, mental states, environment, or our relationships, to name a few to let us instinctively know what’s presently occurring to us to bring us back into balance. Whether acute or chronic, the body never not finds a way to communicate with our conscious minds for protection, safety, maintenance, and growth & development.

THE STIMULUS/TRIGGER

In my case, the stimulus was an intense sharp pain in my chest area near the heart extending downward towards the splenic and stomach region. Ironically, the pain awakened after I performed my first postpartum workout at the gym. After I had my second child in 2013, I became highly insecure, anxious, and felt overwhelmingly unattractive. I literally felt uncomfortable in my own body like I was force to live in a foreign land with not enough economic resources to sustain me. That was the feeling in my mind that wrapped around me as tight knotted ropes. I was not used to those feelings and decided to take initiative and execute in finding solutions to change that feeling. At the time, I was studying medical assistance and phlebotomy and desired to join the gym as the solution. It was my first time ever working out at a gym. I felt motivated and more relaxed.

THE WORKOUT

During this workout, I walked on the treadmill for an hour followed by arm & chest exercises with weights. That night I got home, I gleefully shared my experience with my husband. “Love, I already feel brand new and alive! Ya girl was beasting and going in!” I joyously exclaimed. “Wait til tomorrow morning, you’re going to feel it if you worked out properly,” he calmfully retorted. “I’ll manage,” I pompously responded. Surely, the next morning, I woke up in so much pain barely able to pick up the baby or to reach for an item. In my head, I said, “this is the pain of a winner! It’ll ware off in a couple of days.” Truthfully, the soreness felt like I grew Arnold Schwarzenegger arms and a Stone-Cold-Steve-Austin’s attitude, haha! I was like, “yeah, I’m a body builder now!” In reality, I had 3 back rolls, 2 overcooked turkey legs, and stretch marks that looked like rugs made in Persia. Three days went by and the soreness did not ware off. In fact, the pain started to feel like a shock that lasted for 3-8 seconds and would come and go sporadically.

THE UNKNOWN

I was beginning to become exceedingly concerned. I started paying attention to all the possible variables that could’ve influenced this. Was I eating too much, not drinking enough water, stressed out, had cancer, or not getting enough sleep? These were all of my lingering questions. “What the hell is going on with me?” I incessantly yelled in myself. During this same time, I was complaining to my husband about the pain with fright. His responses were rather less dramatic and contained too much of the logical element. He proposed that a muscle was perhaps pulled and was trying to heal itself. That wasn’t the feeling I perceived with my senses. I felt that it was something more serious and daunted me to the extreme. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. Since I didn’t know what was the causing variable, I tried balancing all of the aforementioned possibilities “(ignorantly)” to eliminate them. I hadn’t gone to the doctor yet because my husband had insisted not to go due to his analysis. In honesty, he didn’t and still do not like hospitals or medical settings. So, he felt daunted by the idea. I was trying to not panic to add to the situation.

PEAK OF PAIN

Weeks passed by and the pain was beginning to last longer, return more regular, and increase in intensity. It felt like it was spreading, infecting me deeper and wider. My energy levels dropped below the horizon. When I would get sick, I literally could not stand for more than a minute without feeling like I was going to pass out. My motivation, blood and electrical flow turned into the movement of slugs. My self hate became an enemy that haunted me and my worst fears then, not being around for my children and to have more. The hate ate away at my organs as parasitic tapeworms feasting and ravishing on every positive thought I had left in me, leaving me spiritually and physically nutritionally depleted. I felt plagued by a horrid fear.

BRINK OF DEATH

My dreams were becoming recurring nightmares, but I was always protected when death approached me in different forms. Spiders, and I mean jumping spiders that were huge that jumped as if performing jumping jacks, entered my home regularly unannounced as if I was mean for not inviting them over for dinner. For me, that was also an indication of dark energy around and within me. My husband also lost one of his jobs and all I was noticing were negative interpreted situations. I wholeheartedly knew something was wrong. I made an appointment with my primary care physician to find out what was happening to me. She told me that she heard fluid in the left lower lobe of my lung and referred me to the regional hospital for further testing. After arriving at the hospital, they took me back right away to take blood samples for cancer, HIV, CBC, and other various tests. Everything came back negative on their end. My perplexity was increasing and becoming an intolerable weight.

I did not accept their results. I refuted it within myself and cultivated unorthodox perceptions of healing. This I did by researching doctors, nutrition & health and came across Dr. Sebi. His theories felt like a breakthrough like my thoughts were getting fresh air and breathing for the first time. They aligned to my wonders and curiosities about disease, illness, and health. What I did not know was, disease could be reversed.

UNBREAKABLE FOCUS

I became deeply studious into his approach and blended it with my own. His approaches were credible because he had evidence that he presented of claiming to cure persons with AIDS, various cancers, STDs, immobility, blindness etc. I had made up my mind to be around for my children. I refused to die due to an undetected chronic wasting away of my organs. I started to adopt his suggestive list of of alkaline foods and the fasting method to heal. I believed him and all of his information. He spoke with conviction and passion that had me sold. Surely, I adopted his methods slowly and inconsistently.

First, I got rid of dairy. I have always been lactose intolerant, but never knew the dire effects it had on the body and me, specifically. It was the hardest to break from completely. I had already given up red meat and fast food before coming across his videos, but chicken was a favorite delectable. His list was unnerving due to practically everything being acidic and low in nutritional content (vibration). So, this became an on and off relationship for me. Did this make me feel any better? The pain hadn’t disappeared and energy levels would come and go, but I had an expansive positive outlook of full recovery.

MAJOR SYMPTOMS

Because I did not really feel drastic changes with the new diet, I became dismayed at times. Symptoms continued and expressed themselves with severe migraines to the point of nausea, yeast infections, mood swings, extreme fatigue, inability to focus to process information, multiple mental blocks, dark circles around my eyes, low libido, and extreme irrational fears of the dark. It was obvious that what I had previously thought was healthy was childhood conditioning passed through each familial generation of Jamaican culture merged with Western standards of diet. I could go on and on about the deficiencies of my wounded soul. What wasn’t completely deficient was my faith.

BE BY FAITH

My faith was the literal regenerative force that guided me to wholeness and the path I’m on now. The guidance of my faith expressed itself through a dream, a dream of warning. A young ethnic woman of a West Indies appearance appeared to me in a third world setting with an object in her hand as she sat on the rooftop of a building that needed repair. I felt that the energy manifested itself in a way that was familiar to me to reflect my current state for me to be receptive of the message. Anyways, I was standing on the ground feeling conflicted next to running water from a broken pipe flowing into mud, but a tainted mud. She used the object she was holding as a measuring tool of life expectancy and duration of illness. She directed and extended the wire of the object towards the upper lobes of my liver and said, “this is very serious.” All the other details are difficult and too supernatural to detail right now. I then woke up feeling a gut ripping fear that drove me to accept the only option I had left. That option was to let the illness express itself instead of suppressing it and heal by fasting for 2 weeks on water only. I knew this would need more fasting sessions in four parts to really resolve my problems. The first few days were physically painful and draining with headaches, stomach pains, nausea, gas, and lethargy. At one point, I questioned the whole thing, but remembered my dream and the message told and shown to me. So, I continued.

After 3-4 days, the headaches, hunger, stomach pains, and nausea passed. I chugged 3 gallons of water daily to speed up excretion and healing. Sometimes, I mixed the water with bentonite clay. After a week, I felt an alteration of my consciousness, an uplifting light feeling settled in. My thoughts and situations seemed to slow down and my body functions seemed to speed up. Different parts of my body were being activated by an accompanying pain that felt different from bad pain. This pain felt like a healing pain of autophagy and cellular repair. The pain in my chest was dissolving, skin rashes appeared in clusters on my forehead, yellow discharge flowed from my vagina, my face literally shed one layer of skin as a snake rebirthing, a thick white coating of my tongue pushed its way to the surface, and my first bowel movement was hard, black, and foul. The stench reached to the farthest room of upstairs from the downstairs bathroom that was on the opposite side of the house.

REJUVENATION

After the fast, I watched to see if the symptoms would relapse. They did not. I was stunned and in an euphoric state. I was filled with gratitude that I broke down in tears and joy. I couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t believe that I was that strong. I realized it was time for me to become a lifetime vegan and not look back.

PATH TO PURPOSE

This has put me directly on a path of self healing, enlightenment, the claiming back of my power, dynamic wakeful mental states, and a spiritual metamorphosis. My true purpose is to heal, not only myself, but others as well. To this day, I was never diagnosed. Now, I know what and where the root of the dis-ease was. The dis-ease led me to become a soldier in the US army studying to become an endocrinologist.