How I Became A Humanoid Robot

Our Life has many ups and downs, some bring up happiness, and some moments come with sadness. When I was a kid, I used to be so natural, THE REAL "ME" and would love to be so curious to learn new things, with excitement, I was like an explorer.  I was super funny, romantic, enthusiastic, and sensitive for my age! When I see a beggar in a street, I feel broken and wish If I have more money or if I can teach them how to make money, it will be better. Nobody needs to beg for anything at all.

Feelings

When my cute doggy plays around me, it really feels like you are in friendship with someone in a living environment, but when someone says bad about my dog or hits a stone on my dog, it really made me cry. When my siblings' fight with me, and my parents scold me, I get upset the whole night with the sadness of favoritism.

Some of my seniors were saying that "Don't grow, it's a trap!!!", but we always do the opposite of it, right!

Love

After the teenage stage, we become an adult and independent to do whatever we want and learn from our past. If you love somebody from your deepest heart, they will never love you back or you will never get him/her! Some are pretending to be a lover until they find their satisfaction in other things!

I grew up and became an adult. After years of living, I met a boy. He was a nice guy, but he didn’t like me at all. I tried everything I could think of to get his attention, but nothing worked. Then, I realized that I must have done something wrong. So, I decided to change myself. I changed my appearance, my clothes, my hairstyle, and even my voice. Nothing helped. I thought maybe he just doesn’t like me because I am not pretty enough. So, I tried to become prettier. I dyed my hair blonde, put on makeup, and bought expensive clothes. Still, nothing happened. I couldn’t understand why! I felt like I was wasting my time. I decided to give up as I wasn't getting his attention. I stopped talking to him. I didn’t care if he loved me or not. I was going to forget about him.

Day by day, I become more strong physically and mentally. I moved on with my life and enjoyed each moment and memory!

How to be numb?

In my College, having a crush is a much more common thing nowadays! I love a guy – after watching him, I got a kick, my heart sparked towards him, but again he wasn't getting my attention at all in my college time, but other guys are giving me signs to love them, but I wasn't interested in any of them. There wasn't like "First sight love" with any of them! Our college days were over but I didn't find anyone who can be my future partner, I kept everything in my mind and did not express my emotions to anyone else! This is how you can be numb! A list of my heartbreaking incidents may take a week to write about all sequences, but the truth is MY HEART WAS BROKEN PERMANENTLY! Literally, I was feeling numb and emotionless all the time! I hate love stories!

How do you feel when no one love's you? or you are no more romantic?

After that, I don't remember when I cried last time, I want to look for some adventures in my life, I wanna be romantic, I want to love again, feel again… there are lots of things to do!

I want someone to hold me tight when I'm feeling down. Someone who will listen to me and not judge me. I want to laugh at silly jokes together. I want to share my feelings with them and tell them all my secrets. I want to be happy and smile every time I see them. I want to kiss them and hug them and love them forever.

Learnings from my past

Emotion is so much important in life!

You should never let your pain get the best of you. You need to face it head-on and deal with it. Don't try to hide it in your heart because that will just make it worse. You might not remember all the great times you had together, but you will always cherish your memories. You will never forget about them.

We live to our fullest when we feel all emotions. We should not be afraid to express ourselves. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, angry, happy, or anything else. We need to let go of what others think about us and just be ourselves.

Someone invented emotions for a reason! So let it be with you altogether!

We can feel the pain and hurt others when we see them hurting someone else. We can also feel joy and happiness when we see someone happy. That’s why we need to learn to stop hurting each other and start loving each other. I am trying my hardest to do that.

Don't be a Pressure Cooker

If you are senseless, numb, or unexpressive, try to change yourself, be an extrovert, and do something that can feel up your heart with happiness. If you keep everything inside your mind, you will be blasted on somebody or something at any time!

I can give you some tips, on what you can do to make your emotions alive again!

• You should spend your time with those who really care about you. You will see what real love and friendship are! If you haven’t already fallen in love, then at least try.
• Watch movies about love, sadness, joy, anger, fear, happiness, etc., I prefer to watch movies alone.
• Reading can help you understand what others think about life. You will get to see different points of view and how other people feel. Reading can also help you gain knowledge about history, geography, politics, science, art, literature, philosophy, etc.
• Kids who are happy and well-adjusted tend to be social, active, and playful. Spend time with them and interact with them frequently. Go to your nearby garden where you can see kids playing, and running, and try to interact with them, if you spend time with them, your mind will adjust your emotions.
• Go outside, meet new people and know-how big is our world!
• Help others, especially those who need your help. You will feel happy when you see them smiling at you. Mostly poor or helpless people, stray dogs and cats, and other animals.
• Try to love yourself!

I want to feel. I want to learn. I want to love. But I'm not sure if I can ever get those feelings back again. So I try to keep myself busy, and I hope that I will eventually get them back.

© Unbounded Soul, 9Mood.com 2019

Originally published on How I became a humanoid robot - 9Mood publication.

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