Funny Things That Only Happen to Yogis

by Mackenzie Lu 3 years ago in satire / advice / list / fitness / yoga

You'll be amazed at all the funny things that only to happen to yogis once you start practicing. 

Funny Things That Only Happen to Yogis

Yoga is so much more than just a workout - it’s a lifestyle. It changes you as a personit contributes to your self-development and it improves your overall health. Through yoga you can meet your future friends, soulmates (and I don’t mean just your yoga mat) and even start a new career you never knew existed. Once you’re in it, you’re a yogi for life. And the results are phenomenal.

To give you a brief idea on how popular yoga is in today’s world, here’s a statistic: according to a 2012 study, 20.4 million people practice yoga. And we even bet you wanted to try yoga before!

Once you become a yogi, you will find that several things will happen in your life that might’ve never happened before. It will change everything - from the way you think, move or even how you socialize with people. But you will also experience several sitcom-worthy moments. We won’t even mention the embarrassing stuff.

(P.S. At some point, you will revolve your social schedule around your yoga classes. I call it ‘yoga time management’.)

You spend way too long in the fitness section.

Let me tell you, when you become a yogi, suddenly the fitness section of the store becomes the most interesting and the most important one. You’ll take time choosing the perfect yoga outfit and you’ll probably end up buying several pants in different colors to make those awesome yoga pictures.

Pro tip: never invite non-yogi friends to your shopping adventure. They won’t understand.

You have to actively hide your jealousy of another yogi’s mat. 

Image via Jynne Dilling Martin

Seriously. Where DO they get their awesome mats? How far did they travel? How much did the shipping cost? Can you order more than one? Does it come in different colors? Does it have any magical superpowers that can make your poses look extra awesome?

Those questions will be on your mind when you spot yet another cute yoga mat. It’s even worse when you just find it online and had no idea where it came from - I’m judging you, Tumblr posts.

You will create a special bond with your yoga buddies.

Image via Hailey O’Hara and Angela McFaul

Yoga buddies for life! They’ve seen you at your worst and at your half-best (because let’s face it, no one is perfect when it comes to yoga). Yoga buddies cheer each other on, they know what it takes to go from a not-even-being-able-to-lift-your-legs to a breathtaking handstand scorpion.

Is having a matching tattoo with your yoga buddy taking it too far? We don't think so.

You'd rather drink a green juice than alcohol.

Green juices are incredibly addictive and come with many benefits that will wake you up faster than your morning coffee. They definitely have more vitamins and nutrients than the alcohol you used to consume and will make your skin look younger and blemish-free. And don’t even get me started on those wheatgrass shots! You’ve probably also participated in a ‘green juice challenge’ before. Don’t even try to deny it!

Your social media life practically revolves around #yoga.  

Photo by Christine Hewitt

You follow all important and inspiring yogis and devotedly watch their videos. They make everything seem possible. Doing a crow pose on top of a mountain? Sign me up! Splits between two cars? Sounds awesome!

Warning: you will create a yogi Instagram account, Tumblr page and Pinterest boards (yes, several, because one is just not enough) - the inspiration will keep you going for life!

Here are three yoga Instagram gurus you should definitely follow:


You will fall in love with this mother-of-two and her adorable sidekicks, often spotted doing her own yoga poses. Cuteness overload.


Yoga. Men. Hair. What more could you ask for? @Patrickbeach is the definition of cool.


It’s basically three things we all love combined into an awesome Instagram account.

Yoga teacher certification in an exotic location will suddenly seem like the ultimate life path for you.

Image via Tulum Kite & SUP School

Suddenly, going to India or Bali to become a yoga teacher seems like the calling you’ve been waiting for. At some point in your yogi life, you will do extensive certificate research and follow all yoga bloggers who have previously went through the same journey. You will gather so much useful information you will probably be able to open a consulting service for all yogis wanting to become a certified teacher. Interested? Do your research first! The yogi life may not be as glamorous as you initially think.

Your yoga accessories go far beyond your mat. 

Image via Soulistic Creations

Buying yoga things may be more addictive than the class itself. From yoga mats and yoga pants, to cups, notebooks, even duvet covers. Come on, you know what your heart truly wants.

And you’ve been so good in your class lately, sometimes you just have to reward yourself. Right? At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. Don’t judge my ‘I’d rather do yoga’ shirt please.

Pro tip: Etsy is a great place for finding new quirky yoga items!

You passionately defend Bikram yoga.

Image via siria mardev

Bikram gets bad rep around non-yogis (think of it as Crossfit of the yogi world or being vegan—there WILL be initial doubts), but once you experience Bikram, it’s like a drug. Sure, doing yoga in the heat seems almost impossible when you first think about it, but you’ll soon find yourself master those poses and doing them in any condition won’t be a problem. It’s an addiction and you’ll keep coming back for more.

So what are the pros of Bikram yoga?

  • Bikram yoga is a complete detox.
  • Heat. Yoga poses. Total focus. Makes sense.
  • Better flexibility.
  • Your muscles are more flexible when in heat, you might surprise yourself with some tricks.
  • The feeling afterwards is amazing.

Bikram yoga is my favorite winter activity. Coming out of the hot studio into the cold air is one of the most rejuvenating things you can do for your body. It’ll make you feel alive. And also really well-stretched.

Other types of yoga include Hatha, Vinyasa, Power, Ashtanga and Iyengar.

Yoga pants become your standard clothing - the more colorful the better! 

Image via Sacred Mountain Yoga

Did you know that there are plenty of people who claim they’ve invented yoga pants? However, Ryan McLatchy’s name comes to mind when we talk about the real invention of yoga pants. And guess what? Apart from the fact that he invented yoga pants, there is actually very little information you can find on this guy. Hmmm, this might explain several people trying to take credit for his work.

There are six types of yoga pants:

  • Boot-cut
  • Leggings
  • Yoga Capri pants
  • Foldover Yoga pants
  • Compression Yoga pants
  • Kundalini-Style Yoga pants

You often question what life was like without yoga. 

Image via Cindy Xu

Oh, life without yoga. I have no idea what I did in my so-called past life on the weekends when I wasn’t in the Bikram studio. Or when I thought ‘savasana’ was a cat species.

Here’s some benefits of yoga we bet you didn’t know about (and as a yogi, I can tell you that they’re all very true):

  • Yoga is not just for flexibility - it will give you immense strength.
  • The daily discipline will give you a lot of mental healing.
  • You’ll build superman (or woman)-like core power.
  • Yoga can relieve IBS!
  • It will help you control your temperament.
  • You will appreciate yourself and your body more.
  • Yoga = Happiness.

Got inspired? Ready to dive into the yoga world? There are tons of apps, websites and books out there, full of useful information, courses and everything that will help get you started on your new yoga lifestyle. Do me a favor - after a few months of your yoga lifestyle, return to this article and see which one of these applied to you. And I bet you’ll even have more funny things to share! Did you get a yoga tattoo? No shame in that game.

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Mackenzie Lu

Namaste. Active yogi and life enthusiast. It has become her mission to spread the benefits of having the mind, body, and soul in tune with one another.

See all posts by Mackenzie Lu