Finding the Rhythm of Life

Though I semi-retired a couple of years ago, for a long time afterward I still struggled with the feeling that life was out of control and racing willy-nilly to the next task to be done. Now that I have fully retired from outside work, this sense of chaos will still hit me once in a while. This is absolutely unnecessary.

Other than the odd appointment, grocery shopping, and running my son to his job every so often, I am not what one could call “busy.” At least, not in the way I was when I worked for someone else. I have the time I was wanting to focus on my arts, my spiritual group, and my family. So, why do I still sometimes feel this sense of urgency?

I have come to believe that the feeling that life is speeding away like a truck out of control on the freeway is a habit. It’s a way of being, born of the American lifestyle. In spite of my lifelong spiritual perspective and moments of mountaintop epiphanies, the need to focus on making a living has taken its toll. It’s become ingrained in me, playing back like grooves in a record. The sad thing is, I don’t believe it needed to happen. Now is the time to find a way to record over that playback.

How can I do that? I believe the best way to change how I respond to the world is to practice a changed life. What I am seeking is a rhythm in life, in which all things that need to be completed are done as part of a natural flow of being.

This is the kind of “spiritual” perspective that I, and many others, have paid lip service to for years. We’ve taken part in workshops, read books, discussed spiritual ideas, sat in meditation and prayer, all the while encouraging one another to apply the principals of Being instead of Doing to our lives. Usually, it seems perfectly plausible and feasible while we’re in the midst of discussion, but once back into the mundane, we keep going as we always have.

That’s where I have gone wrong. If only I had taken my lessons from theory to practice. Just think of the wonderful life I could have provided for my children!

Still, it’s never too late to begin again. As long as there is breath, there is potential. I have come to this place where I recognize what I have missed, and know that there is a better way to live. That better way is to move with the flow of life, acknowledging the responsibilities and challenges without allowing them to bar my path to a peaceful and satisfying life. It is to recognize that the responsibilities are not interruptions to my life, but part of it.

It is not the tasks or the responsibilities that have been in the way of my spiritual walk. It has been my attitude about them. Life is not careening wildly from this task to that task, hoping to find a moment of respite to find my bearings again. I did not have to wait for an opportunity to allow my life to take on a rhythm. I simply needed to recognize that there is a rhythm, and realize that it includes the things that are done each day.

The rhythm may be slow and steady or quick and syncopated, but either way it is a rhythm.

Knowing this is the first step in the new dance. In order to learn the new steps and immerse myself in the rhythmic dance of a truly fulfilling life, I need to make some changes in my thought process.

When I find myself thinking, “Oh! I have to run that errand tomorrow!” and realize that it causes a sense of discontent, I must consciously shift my perspective. I must acknowledge that I love getting out and having a change of scenery once in a while. There is no need to anticipate the errand as if it is set off from the rest of my life.

It’s not necessary for me to feel that the need to leave my writing or my painting behind to go to an appointment or do the shopping is somehow a barrier to living life as I want to live it. Indeed, if I never left my home or took a break from these creative endeavors, they would become monotonous. Each thing that must be done in life is simply a part of life.

I cannot go back and reclaim the time I’ve lost in emotional upheaval and undue stress. I know now that though I learned much about living a spiritual life, I had not learned how to apply it to my own life. I am learning now. The old saying that “it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey” is much more than a reflection on the lessons learned from the school of hard knocks. In reality, I believe that there is no “destination;” there is only the “journey.”

How’s your journey these days? Have you found your rhythm?

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This story first appeared on Newsbreak