Dear running

Dear running,

Let me start off by saying, I know a lot of people hate you, but I don't. I love you. People don't like you because you're hard. It's difficult to get up and want to run, but I can push through that feeling to get to you. It's hard to push myself as much as you make me push myself. You are the purest form of strength, endurance and mental fortitude. To be good at running, I need to work myself harder than I ever have.

You are always there when everyone else is not. Whether I've had an absolutely terrible day, or the best day ever, you are the perfect way to think anything over. You give me a release and something to channel myself into. I would have the best workouts have come when I'm angry or upset because I can prove I'm alright by running. You give me something to completely pour into, which nothing else can give me. I can always go run, no matter what else is happening with the people around me. You have given me something to confide in, when no one else is willing to listen. You break me down, only to make me better. Every day I could hardly walk or sit in a chair, I knew the next week I will be that much better. You are only looking to make me better, you've never wronged me. You've never told me a lie, never flaked out on me, never taken advantage of me. I may leave you in the cold for a day or two and you eagerly await when I return ready to take you on again.

There is so much that you have done to make me feel and be better. You've taught me to endure, be consistent and most of all you've taught me that when I put my mind to it and try my hardest, I can do whatever I want. I've accomplished things I never believed would be possible for me to achieve. The amount of days you have fixed my mood I cannot count. When I go without you for more than a couple days, I can't sleep, I'm grumpy and I feel restless. You are my escape. Whenever I need time to think, you are there. Whenever I just need to be alone, you are there. You give me time to be in my own head, no distractions or input from others, just complete clarity and peace. You made me work harder than anything I've ever done, but that's because I love you. I wanted to get better, so every chance I had to improve, I’d take it. I’d work myself into the ground at the promise of dropping a second off my time.

I am sorry to have advantage of our relationship and made you hurt me. It wasn’t your fault. My love for you and culture of competition is what took me down. After nearly a year of time apart, I love you more than ever. You are there for me on any day, but now I’m in it for the joy of running alone. I have no goal of being faster, running farther or working my tail off every week. You are the supplement I take right after my multivitamin. You enhance me, but are not my identity.

Thank you running. Thank you for your commitment to me and my health. Thank you for being there for me and giving me time for myself. Thank you for making me better. Thank you for everything you ever have been, are and will be.

Sincerely,

Ashlee