Cancer Sucks

Today was my last chemo! April 25th, 2017 I was diagnosed with Stage 2a, grade 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. I started with a double mastectomy in May, followed by 2 more surgeries and 16 Chemo Treatments beginning July 11th (ending today, December 5th). Chemotherapy, for me, is/was BRUTAL!

Here is the honest truth...

This was the hardest (physically and emotionally), most miserable thing I've ever experienced. I had days that I was certain that I was going to die from chemo. The experience was not what I had expected. Watching my family was both heartbreaking and motivating at the same time.

Beginning 15 days after my diagnosis my family, from Indiana, was by my side! Kathy Jones spent 4+ months, 2 surgeries and 10 chemo treatments with us. My Dad, he came out 3 separate times. Knowing Brian Jones had to be home taking care of our fur babies, so my Dad stayed at the hospital every minute I was inpatient following my surgeries and was back to care for me for chemo.

Crystal came out twice to take care of me & our household. Crystal spent my first month of chemo with Brian, the girls & me. We didn't expect chemo to be "that bad." Well, it was THAT BAD, plus a lot more! She took on much more than she had thought, and didn't rest with all of us.

My Mom, she's made 3 trips too. She became the girls "soccer mom," taking them to games and practices (Brian and my doctors hadn't let me drive in months). My mom, spent days "watching me breathe" when I was at my worse. I have learned so much about and from my mom, especially over the past 3 years. Spending time like this with my mom has helped in more ways than I can express, it has brought us closer together (in my opinion)!

Brian is my husband, Brian is my EVERYTHING... He is my superman and I didn't make it easy on him. He was at each appointment, surgery and chemo... Brian was able to keep track of every detail, appointment, & medication while working his 2 jobs, never missing a beat! Even the ER doctor, who removed my cyst on my butt and admitted me into the hospital, told my oncologist that he has not seen a caregiver who was so up to date on medical treatments! I responded with "Yup, that's MY Brian!" Brian dropped what he was doing one Friday, he & mom physically got me up, dressed & carried me into the oncologist because, according to Brian, "they need to see you like this," another time I was at my lowest point.

I forget A LOT right now, but I won't ever forget one day they were trying to get me to my chemo. I curled up like a baby in my "sick chair" crying. I begged Brian to let me quit. I cried and cried saying, "Brian, please don't make me go! Can't you see how sick I am? Please don't make me go!" The look in his eyes, I broke him that day. He knew exactly how sick I was and he couldn't fix me or do anything to help me.

My husband, mom & dad told me numerous times that they would prefer to have this disease than for me to have cancer. Not only does it not work like that, but I would never allow them to take it from me. I don't want anyone to ever experience cancer! It breaks my heart that I have broken their hearts!

The day I got the call, the girls were doing homework. Melenie picked up her phone, called Brian telling him to come home from work and we headed across the street to our friends house. Our friends entertained the girls until Brian got home, and while I made my calls. They allowed the girls to spend the night with them when my white count was so low. Cindy takes me for blood work on Mondays so I was able to spend selfish time with her chatting and sometimes venting.

After my last chemo 12/5, those who were still here with me, celebrated with me! I wish everyone was here for my last treatment, but I have been so blessed, I will count my blessings! Dinner might have just been dinner for some, but for me... It was so much more, 95% more! According to my oncologist, I only have a 5% chance of recurrence which will be confirmed in a couple months after my scan. Until then, I am cancer free!!! I don't need radiation, so we are currently counting blessing after blessing!