Be Aware of These 6 Basic Rules for Communicating With an Alzheimer Patient or Risk Losing Their Comprehension

NOTE: This is the 4th article in my series on how to cope with your loved one’s Alzheimer’s Disease, based on my 12 years of experience as an Alzheimer Spouse, Alzheimer’s advocate, speaker, educator, and blogger for the website I developed and managed —  www.thealzheimerspouse.com. Because Alzheimer’s Disease is complex and caregiving for a loved one with the disease requires so much education, I am breaking up my articles into small segments. This one explains how to communicate with your loved one so they will understand what you are saying.

We were busy with house chores when I handed my husband an empty laundry basket and said, “Please go downstairs, take the clothes out of the dryer, and bring them upstairs to fold.” He looked at the laundry basket, looked at me with a puzzled expression, and asked, “What do you want me to do?” It was then that I knew we were in trouble. There had been other signs, but this was a giant Red Flag.

This incident was 3 years before we got the devastating diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease. It was because of my job as a speech/language therapist, in which I helped students with communication disorders break down information into smaller, easier to comprehend segments, that I was able to recognize language difficulties in my husband at such an early stage and knew how to remediate them.

Please note that the following rules work in the early to mid-stages of the disease. You’re dealing with a whole different ball game when they enter the later stages and most communication is no longer possible. That’s a subject for another time.

In a “typical” non-diseased brain, incoming information is generally linear and organized:

In an Alzheimer brain, the information comes in jumbled.

If it’s jumbled coming in, the corresponding response cannot be anything but jumbled. Adding to the problem are memory issues. They often don’t remember the incoming information, organized or not. Their frustration level rises, resulting in a response that can be an outburst of anger followed by shutting down and refusing to talk.

The Six Basic Rules for Communicating with an Alzheimer patient are:

1. STOP — You need to get their attention first. Eliminate all distractions including TV, music, and other people around them. Gently ask them to stop what they are doing because you would like to talk to them. If they are agitated, forget it, and wait until they are calm.

2. LOOK — Ask them to look at you. Eye contact is essential. Without eye contact, their attention is wandering elsewhere.

3. LISTEN — Gently ask them to please listen to what you are going to say.

4. SPEAK IN SHORT SENTENCES -Information is difficult enough for them to decipher, as I explained above in how the brain takes in data.

Examples:

Too long and complex: -Please bring the groceries in from the car, empty the bags, put them into the recycle bin and then put the groceries away. Make sure you put the freezer stuff away first.

Better — Please Bring the groceries in from the car. Wait until it is done before giving the next direction.

Next direction — Please put the bags into the recycle bin. Wait until it is done before giving the next direction.

Next direction — Please put the frozen stuff into the freezer. When that is done, you’ll probably be sick of this routine. Tell him to go watch TV and do the rest yourself.

5. WAIT -Wait to see if they understood what you said. Ask them to repeat it in their own words, just enough so you know they understood.

6. SPEAK SLOWLY AND CLEARLY- “speechcansoundlikethistoaconfusedpersonwhohasdifficultyprocessinglanguage.” They will understand you better if you speak ONE WORD AT A TIME. Do not slur your words together and do not speak quickly.

Remember that Alzheimer’s Disease affects everyone differently. What works with one person may not work with another. However, these techniques have been successful with many Alzheimer’s patients in the early to mid-stages.

The more the person with Alzheimer’s Disease understands you when you speak, the less frustrated and angry they will be. Your stress level will decrease in proportion to their lessening frustration level, which will be mentally and emotionally healthier for both of you.

Originally published as part of the Resource Section- Memory and Communication Tips of my website —  www.thealzheimerspouse.com.

Also published on Medium.com

My previous Alzheimer’s Disease articles for Vocal:

The Top 5 Early Symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease — It’s not always about memory

Alzheimer Day Care — 7 Things to Know Before You Sign on the Dotted Line

Never Argue — The Most Important Lesson to Learn When Interacting With a Person With Alzheimer’s Disease

©Copyright 2022 Joan Gershman