a mom with MS, raising millenials...

When we were kids, we were raised to be independent thinkers who would later grow up and raise their own. We sucked it up buttercup cause we didn't have the catered mindset. Band aids were for boo boos when we were still in the single digits, ice packs were an instant go to when anything hurt, fresh air, sunlight, and being outside until the street lights came on were our vitamins. And we survived! Now though, for any household with a millenial, tylenol is a staple, and these kids think that they are entitled to all that is out there before they ever consider having a job.

I have Multiple Sclerosis, basically my brain looks like Swiss cheese with lesions (similar to bruising) instead of literal holes. I was diagnosed 9 months after waking up deaf on one side for no apparent reason. My neurologist immediately started me on an immuno-suppressant therapy. To date I have tried a handful of drug therapies, all of which in one or more ways made me feel worse than I already do. Eventually the "chronic pain" becomes almost like this trait you have, slurred speech or fumbling of words to the point you feel like an absolute idiot... Don't even get me started on basic mile markers we hit as toddlers, cause depending on the day, your knees are for praying and catching you for the fifth time. These don't even compare to the other issues that anyone with MS, deals with on a constant yet scattered unpredictable basis. Most issues that develop are idiopathic since they have no real diagnosed cause other than you have MS, which is also, idiopathic.

Since 2016, I have made slow steady progress in doing more for my body rather than to my body. I add spices to my food to help with inflammation, or insomnia, instead of treating Tylenol like a favorite snack. I took myself off any kind of narcotic pain killers since their side effects had worse effects on me which defeats the purpose. I started doing research on what essential oils help with whatever ailments I was trying to treat, which helped me develop my own bath products that make me feel human again. Soaking in a bath for 15 minutes, or lather up in the shower, or apply a lotion was probably one of the most ingenious concepts I had ever come up with. I still have my bad days don't get me wrong, but I was able to take my chronic issues from a comparable migraine to a tension headache then to a minor headache that eases away.

My epiphany though, was recently. I watched a documentary on health issues being more mental than physical. They start on with stress, stress makes a problem a mess, into a nightmare into now an auto-immune disorder. That if we change the environment, stress changes and can be manipulated to the point of reversing a diagnosis. That idea is mind blowing! If you can think it, you can achieve it, and it is the same concept with the body. Now obviously you cannot think yourself thinner or taller or with different traits and expect desired results. My diet currently consists of zero gluten, coffee, lots of food that when cooked right is better for me. Then I came across Body Groove. Misty told her story and how she was able to find a better way to see herself, that "it does get better than this". I come from a military background, kickboxing is a stress relief for me, aerial yoga instead of the simple floor version, and constantly forcing myself to be more active than not at all. Despite all of this and being typically mindful of what I eat, I still at 5'1" am 160 lbs. By chart standards, I am morbidly obese. But! Now, I am changing my whole mindset all together. It is possible for health issues to suddenly vanish with no defined explanation of 1+1=2. My goal at this point, is a healthier me, MS or not. I absolutely refuse to let my girls grow up seeing me give in to my health issues. That is not going to be the legacy I leave behind. The best version of myself, will be my legacy.