A Conversation About Aging In The Boundary Waters Canoe Area.

For years I went to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area (BWCA) three times a year. There were big fires up there in the late 90s and I stopped going. I would go on a family trip, a couples trip, and a girl's trip each year. All wonderful and fulfilling.

I would get re-energized until the next trip. I could pack in everything needed for the journey. I could portage, and carry the canoe. Now it is staying in cabins. What happened? For me, it is aging. Not everyone gets as old as me so young and some are older sooner.

I truly believe my saving grace was sobering up at 26 years old. Because of that, I have had many opportunities. I was thinking I might not make this trip and my sister-friend thought maybe I wouldn't either!

She had decided what she would do without me. We got there and I took a short nap. She went for a paddle. I told her I would try that then the following day. She slept in the next morning and we talked about how she really must have needed that extra rest.

I love the beauty and the nice breeze off the lake. I am so happy I decided to go along even without the paddle. And I am happy that she brought something she could go out to paddle in three times during our stay.

Over the years I have seen many bears, moose, and smaller critters. It is great. For most of the last 20 years, I have been riding a motorcycle and 4-wheeler. We have a popup camper. Most of the time in the popup is spent sleeping.

Our time camping is riding 4-wheelers, cooking over an open fire and eating around the fire, and going to a restaurant that is close.

The trip this time in the BWCA consisted of my sister-friend paddling herself around and my writing and reading. I have been on a short writer's block. Nothing serious. I got back in touch in the boundary waters.

On our full day there, I took a couple of short naps. We went to a meeting and ate at the Hungry Hippo in the closest town. She encouraged me to go outside at various times. No mosquitos, cool, and great views! All windows have screens and were wide open in the cabin.

Did I say great view? She was out paddling for the third time since we arrived and we got company for her. I enjoyed the visitors and suggested they come back when they could. She did get to see them just prior to our leaving.

When we had a conversation about her pushing herself, pushing through her pain, I felt like she was suggesting I do that also. I thought I would let her know more about my health issues. I think she understood better. She said she is grieving what we used to do in the boundary waters.

People do not believe you when you say what you have done, are doing, and how you can get stuck in a loop. Physical therapy twice this year, kicked out as "You have something else going on. When that gets figured out then we can work on your general rehab.

I was taking too high of a dose of meds and was experiencing too many side effects. I was referred to swimming therapy as that would be a better starting place to get back into a normal exercise routine. I couldn't continue due to an allergy to chlorine and a urinary tract infection.

When I had cancer ten years ago, I had no allergies. Now my list of allergies is long.

She said, "Remember where we used to sit coming up here? On the ground. Remember where we slept up here? On the rocks. Now if we did that we would be stuck on the ground, not able to get up or not be able to sleep on the rocks anymore."

I reminded her that we did move to a pad under our sleeping bags and at one point we took air mattresses to use on the rapids on Lake One.

She said, "I am grieving my sister, and what we could do." (She was referring to me.) We both had a couple of tears. I said this is my big year of feeling old. Some people have that big year at 40, others at 50, and still others at age 60. For me, it is 70. I will be 70 on my next birthday.

Then we talked about how the memories have been important for both of us. Us together and I brought up memories of times that I was there without her and she talked about times she has been there with others.

Included in this conversation was her trip up there early this summer. And how when she went up there was a moose that swam across the lake in front of her cabin.

We started going into the BWCA about 35 years ago. Just saying that contributes to my feeling old. I have had so much fun in my 69 years and I am not ready to give that up just yet. So I will continue to go to the BWCA and do that in whatever way makes sense.