Oprah once said “I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation,”
We’ve all been there. That moment when we’re looking for validation from others. Whether it’s a Like on our latest Instagram post or a co-sign on that new business venture we’re embarking on, we all crave that outside approval. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting others to see our greatness, the danger comes when we start to seek our validation from them instead of from within.
So why is it so important that we find validation from within? Read on to find out.
Validation is defined as “the act of proving something is true or correct.”
In terms of seeking validation, this means looking for others to confirm that what we are doing is good or correct.
We do this because we want to feel good about ourselves and our choices. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting others to think highly of us, the danger comes when we start basing our self-worth on their approval instead of on our own opinion of ourselves.
Work On Yourself First
Why people crave validation and the effects it has on their lives
We all have an innate need to feel like we belong. It’s human nature. And in a world where social media allows us to curate our lives and put our best foot forward at all times, it’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with imposter syndrome and constantly seek validation from others. After all, if everyone else is living their best life and we’re not, what does that say about us?
The reality is that constantly seeking validation from others is detrimental to our mental health. It can lead to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and depression. And it can keep us trapped in a never-ending cycle of trying to please others instead of living our best life.
How to find validation from within instead of from others?
1. You are the only one who knows yourself best.
No one knows you better than you know yourself. You are the only one who lives inside your head and experiences the world through your own eyes.
2. You are the only one who can control your own happiness.
You are the only one who can control your own happiness. No one else can make you happy — that’s up to you.
3. You are the only one who can define your worth.
Your worth is not defined by what others think of you. It’s defined by how you see yourself.
4. You are the only one who can determine your success.
Your success is not determined by others’ opinions or approval. It’s determined by whether or not you reach your own goals.
So next time you’re feeling down because you didn’t get the validation you wanted from others, remember that you don’t need their approval to feel good about yourself. Approval comes from within.
It starts with recognizing that you are enough, just as you are. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be happy and fulfilled. The only person whose opinion truly matters is your own.
Self-approval is the key to inner peace and happiness. When you approve of yourself, you’ll no longer feel the need to seek validation from others. You’ll be confident in your own skin and know that you’re worthy of love and respect, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says.
Here are a few tips for how to start approving of yourself:
1. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would show to a friend.
2. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. What’s important is that you learn from them and don’t beat yourself up for them.
3. Accept yourself. Embrace your flaws and imperfections. They make you who you are and they’re what makes you unique.
4. Love yourself. Unconditionally accept and love yourself, just as you are.
When you start finding validation from within, you’ll be amazed at how much lighter and happier you feel. You’ll no longer be weighed down by the opinion of others and you’ll finally be free to be your true self.
It starts with understanding that YOU are the only one who can approve of you. YOUR opinion is the only one that matters. Once you realize this, you’ll be well on your way to finding true validation from within yourself.
Another way to find validation from within is to focus on your accomplishments instead of what others think of you.
Make a list of everything you’re proud of — big or small — and look at it whenever you start to doubt yourself. Remembering what you’ve already achieved will help remind you that you are capable and deserving of success.
When you start to find validation from within, you’ll also start to feel a sense of worth and belonging. This is because you’ll be putting your trust in yourself instead of others. You’ll be confident in your abilities and know that you are capable of great things!
Find friends or mentors who will believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. These people will help serve as a reminder that you are worthy and deserving of love and respect — even when you don’t feel like it yourself.
Your opinion is the only one that matters . Seek comfort in knowing that by finding your validation from within, YOU will never have to worry about pleasing anyone but YOURSELF . Find what works for YOU and stick with it . Trust me, your future self will thank you for it .
Thanks for reading! Feel free to share this blog post with anyone who might need a reminder that they are worthy and deserving of love and respect — even when they don’t feel like it themselves.
© Kabinga Mazaba. All rights reserved.
About the Creator
- Blogger & Content Writer
- Founder of the clothing brand "Lifemotiva": a mission to inspire people to live their best lives.
- I help people who have experienced trauma in their lives to heal and move forward.