2022 Year of Rest and Relaxation

As I write this I have just sat down on my last day of work for the year. Most of you will be overjoyed when you finish for Christmas, looking forward to enjoying the break. For me though, this is the first time this year I have used any of my vacation days, and I am a bit lost.

My body is so used to being on high alert that it doesn't know how to switch off. When I get into bed of an evening, I think of the to do list I have that is hundreds of items long.

Over the past two weeks though, I whittled that down and now I only have one item on it. Relax.

The problem is, I don't know how.

I probably should disclose that I have anxiety, and so when I am not worried about anything my anxious brain panics. "There must be something we've forgotten!" it screams in horror. So, then I sit worrying about what I have forgotten to worry about.

I used to meditate a lot and I found it really helpful, but when I tried to get back into it in September, I couldn't sit still. My first New Years resolution is to meditate more and persist, even through the twitches and random thoughts that might try to interrupt me.

Yoga used to really relax me too, turning my brain off to concentrate on stretching my body. Letting my stress fade away.I haven't done yoga in years. My second resolution is to practice more yoga (though I may begin at home).

Getting 8 hours sleep every night. My sleeping patterns can be awful, some nights I only manage to get two to three hours and yet if you had asked me a year or two ago how many hours sleep I needed to function, my answer would have been "I need a solid 8 hours". I suffer with chronic fatigue and chronic pain, so by all logic I should want and need 8 or more hours. Yet some nights I lie awake in agony

To fill in my gratitude diary is my fourth resolution. When things are difficult I need to remind myself of how grateful I am of all of the wonderful things in my life. I come home every night to a roof over my head, food on my table and the love of my life holds his arms open to me. No matter how difficult things become or how much pain I am in, I am so incredibly lucky to have those things.

I need to prepare myself for surgery. In June next year I will be having excision surgery on my endometriosis and as things stand I would really struggle with the six week recovery period. I can't sit still for ten minutes, never mind six weeks! I need to seriously practice relaxing!

So, in 2022 my resolution isn't to begin a new fitness regime or go on a crash diet. It isn't to change myself completely into someone else. My resolutions are all about focussing on feeling better in my own body and taking better care of myself. I need to relearn how to rest and prepare myself for being at home and in bed for six weeks after my surgery.

I would just like to take the opportunity to wish you all a wonderful festive period and tell you all that it is OK to take a break. We have all worked hard over the past two years and we all deserve to put our feet up for a while. Stay safe and get rested!