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The Debut of The Miss Gloria Hour: With Guest Lil Hammertoe

The Adventures of Miss Gloria Cupidon #12

By Rick Henry Christopher Published 11 months ago Updated 11 months ago 5 min read
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Introducing the Staff of The Miss Gloria Hour

Trixie Sparkleton (Jason Pooper's Assistant)
Glossy Payne (Gloria's Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist)
Rafael Cruzado (Director of The Miss Gloria Hour)

Gloria's Arrival to Studio C

Gloria and Debbie arrived at Studio C at Oliver Olivier Media and Fashion Enterprises. Jason Pooper’s assistant, Trixie Sparkelton, grabbed Gloria’s wheelchair and rushed her to her dressing room where Glossy Payne was waiting to put the finishing touches on Gloria's hair and makeup.

Jason Pooper had arranged special seating in the front row of the live audience for Debbie.

It’s now 2:30 p.m. in sunny Hollywood, California, and Miss Gloria Cupidon is offstage, waiting to make her entrance.

Director Rafael Cruzado begins the countdown backstage:

“3… 2… 1… Oliver Olivier, enter the stage from stage right.”

The Miss Gloria Hour (Episode One)

Oliver Olivier walks out onto the stage and receives thunderous applause from an audience of peers, friends, and family, they literally love him.

Oliver Olivier

“Greetings, friends, family, and associates. Today is a special day because I have the opportunity to introduce a social media superstar in the debut of her brand-new talk show, The Miss Gloria Hour. We all know Gloria is a very special lady with unusually unique talents. She has a sort of sass and spunk that never ends. I’d suggest you don’t turn your back on her if you’re one of her guests—she might just kick you in the rumpus. All joking aside she is an intelligent lady with a real zest for life. Let’s all have a round of applause for Miss Gloria Cupidon!”

Gloria enters from stage left and meets Oliver at center stage. The audience rises to their feet, chanting her name:

“Gloria! Gloria! Gloria!”

Oliver takes the handles of her wheelchair and guides her to the beautiful glass-top desk where she’ll conduct her interviews. Once Gloria is in place, Oliver kisses her hand and exits the stage.

As the cheers subside, Gloria addresses her audience:

“A funny thing happened on the way to the studio.”

The audience laughs uproariously at Gloria's whimsical facial expressions.

“Okay, no, that’s old hat, or maybe old shoe, isn’t it? Either way, we can toss them aside and barbecue them for lunch. Barbecued felt and leather always hit the spot.”

The audience laughs again.

“But a really funny thing did happen on my way to the studio. Here’s the thing though, I’m not telling you what happened. But it does include a leather shoe and a felt hat, and well, right now my stomach ain’t feeling all too well.”

Gloria looks straight into Camera One and says nothing, contemplating the leather shoe someone just threw onto the stage. Then she cracks up, and the audience joins in.

“If that shoe had a story, I bet it’s pretty tasteless and lacks sole. But lucky for you, my guest tonight has a few tasty stories of his own and a lot of groove and soul. Coming all the way from New York City this afternoon, let's give a big round… wait, is this right? Hammertoe? What kind of blasted name is that? Am I going to have a big lil’ hammer sitting next to me with a smelly toe for its head? Well hey, grab that shoe—we can cover that dirty smelly toe with it.”

The audience roars with laughter.

Rafael Cruzado yells from backstage, “That’s his name, Gloria. Introduce him already!”

“That’s the director yelling at me from backstage. He’s the best in Hollywood. As you can tell, he’s the utmost of professionalism. Anyway, let's give a big round of applause for the world-famous rapper, Lil Hammertoe.”

Lil Hammertoe walks out onstage, and the audience rises to their feet in applause as he takes a seat on the sofa next to Gloria.

Miss Gloria and Lil Hammertoe

“Ooh, you are one hot biscuit Hammertoe. If I would have known I would have worn a deeper neckline."

"Well dang, Miss Gloria, if I'm a hot biscuit, you must be the honey butter - sweet and smooth."

Miss Gloria blushes as the audience cracks up.

Okay, Mr. Hammertoe, we’ve got to start with your name. I mean, where’d you find your manager, in a box of Cracker Jack? How can he let you go around calling yourself Lil Hammertoe? If you ask me, that’s a pretty dumb name.”

“Well, Gloria, to be honest with you, my mom’s my manager. But she does love Cracker Jacks, and so do I.”

“Oh, well I’m sorry, Hammertoe. I didn’t mean to insult your mom. I’m sure she’s a sweet lady. But what’s she thinking, calling you Hammertoe?”

“See, Gloria, that’s my name. My last name is Hämmer. We’re German. I was born in Germany and moved to New York City in 2014 when I was 12 years old. My first name is Anton or Tony. They call me Toe for short.”

“Ah,” Gloria pauses for a second. “Well, when you put it that way, that makes sense. It’s not so stupid after all. Let’s move on, Toe. You have a worldwide number-one hit with a rap song called "The Hammer’s on the Toe." How many copies have you sold so far?”

“Gloria, that’s where today’s music industry is confusing. My song reached number one without selling a single copy. First, it went viral on YouTube, getting more than 50 million views in its first three days.”

“That’s pretty amazing, Toe.”

“Yes. My mom saw the opportunity and took the song to a distributor to get it properly released. Once it was on all the streaming sites like Spotify and Tidal, that’s when things really began to cook.”

“Oh really? Tell me more, Toe.”

“Without any promotion, the song was added to more than 250,000 playlists around the world on its first day. We got more than 90 million streams in the first week. Just two months later, the song has had more than 520 million streams.”

“That’s a major success.”

“Yes, it is—and we released it independently. There’s no big corporate label taking 60% of our earnings. Just the distributor, who gets 12%. There’s also a vinyl copy of the single, which has sold nearly 1 million copies worldwide.”

“How many countries has the song reached number one?”

“At the moment, twelve—including the U.S., UK, Japan, Germany, South Africa, Ireland, Italy, Spain, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, and South Korea. Ask me this same question in another month, and we’ll add Turkey, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, and the Philippines to the list.”

“You, young sir, are in the money right now.”

“Well yes, but that’s my mom’s business. I’m the artist, putting together a full album right now.”

“Toe, I took the time to listen to The Hammer’s on the Toe, and it’s a catchy tune. I was hoping you could perform it for us.”

“Why sure, I’d love to.”

“Thank you, Toe. That was great. Now, I’ve come up with my version of the song.”

Hammertoe chuckles at Gloria’s confession. “Well, sing it for me, Gloria.”

“That’s it for today, folks. Thank you for joining me and Lil Hammertoe. I really had a blast, and I hope you did too. Come back in two weeks, our special guest will be the world-renowned supermodel, Davania.”

💋💋💋💋💋

Enjoy your day with love, laughs, and good deeds all around, RHC 💜🩷💙

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About the Creator

Rick Henry Christopher

Writing fulfills my need for intellectual stimulus, emotional release, and soothing the bruises of the day.

I’m an open book. I’m not afraid to show my face or speak my mind

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    Written by Rick Henry Christopher