General
Apologies for "The Incident"
I’d like to apologise for what happened at the staff morning tea on Friday. At the time, I thought I was helping. I can now see that I overstepped, and that what began as a small effort to improve the table arrangement became, in several ways, the reason the morning tea is now being referred to in meeting minutes as "the incident."
By Emilie Turner6 months ago in Humor
Too Much Confidence
I’m sorry. I realize that, on paper, those two words are supposed to do quite a lot of work—work that is typically distributed across several conversations, three emails, and at least one person saying, “Let’s take a breath.” I am not trying to rush the process. I am only beginning where one begins, because if I do not begin, I will remain in the unhelpful position of standing in the doorway holding a tray of consequences.
By Logan Stanislaw6 months ago in Humor
An Apology to All Reading This
The Prompt Write a humorous piece in the form of an apology that gradually reveals a situation the speaker is responsible for, growing more complicated as it goes. Apologies tend to simplify. They smooth things over, reduce what happened to something manageable.
By Denise E Lindquist6 months ago in Humor
AN UNCONDITIONAL APOLOGY TO THE MEMBERS, STAFF AND GOVERNING BOARD OF THE HARTLEY HORTICULTURAL SOCIETY, AS WELL AS TO A NUMBER OF OTHER PERSONS YET TO BE NAMED
I Am Sorry — in the fullest sense of that word: not the performative I am sorry, or even the so-ory (sorry-you-feel-that-way) kind of sorry but rather I am sorry because it has taken me a couple of days to come here and shed my cowardice; then had a difficult conversation with my wife — eventual tears on her part — about committing words to paper; followed by an extremely thick and cream-coloured missive from a solicitor, whose name I will not reproduce here but whose stationery did seem particularly impressive indeed and clearly whispered, however indirectly, through mighty pulp and ink combinations to suggest what was now going on: things have become serious.
By Neli Ivanova6 months ago in Humor
From Hot Yoga to Hot Bingo: A Field Guide to Accidentally Getting Old
Greetings, youthful spirits trapped in increasingly squeaky bodies! At some point in life, without any fanfare, warning signs, or commemorative plaque, we all make the quiet, shuffling transition from “fun and fearless” to “fun and mildly concerned about lower-back support.”
By The Pompous Post6 months ago in Humor
Sorry I Cat-napped
I want to start by saying I’m sorry. This isn’t as bad as it sounds. This sort of thing could happen to anyone, right? I know that’s probably not enough on its own, and I hope this doesn’t cross any boundaries. If I were in your position—hypothetically speaking, of course—I would also be confused, mildly alarmed, and possibly holding a broom for protection. To clarify, I did not intend for any of this to happen.
By Mallory Farnum6 months ago in Humor
Sorry, I made you the scapegoat. Top Story - April 2026.
I should have told you this before, considering we have been lifelong friends. Not besties but close enough. It's time you knew that I am the reason you got in trouble with our teacher, Mrs. Thomas, and were punished in fourth grade, and I am sorry.
By Cheryl E Preston6 months ago in Humor
Think Before You Speak. Top Story - April 2026.
Joey groaned as he all but slammed his forehead on the table, ignoring the milkshake that had just been placed before him. “Dude...what is up with you?” Leo asked. “You have been...whatever this is, all day. I thought a milkshake would cheer you, but you won’t even look at it! And I even paid for it!”
By Rebecca Patton6 months ago in Humor
