Laugh in Seconds

1. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

Because they’d crack each other up.

2. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

4. Why did the math book look sad?

Because it had too many problems.

5. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?

Because they are shellfish.

6. Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two-tired.

7. Why don’t programmers like nature?

Because it has too many bugs.

8. Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged.

9. Why don’t skeletons go to parties?

Because they have no body to go with.

10. Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

11. Why don’t fish play basketball?

Because they’re afraid of the net.

12. Why did the computer catch a cold?

Because it left its Windows open.

13. Why don’t cows have money?

Because farmers milk them dry.

14. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because it felt crummy.

15. Why don’t ghosts like rain?

Because it dampens their spirits.

16. Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

17. Why don’t ants get sick?

Because they have tiny ant-bodies.

18. Why did the clock get kicked out of class?

Because it kept tocking too much.

19. Why don’t mountains get tired?

Because they peak all the time.

20. Why did the pencil break up with the paper?

Because it found someone sharper.

21. Why don’t dogs make good dancers?

Because they have two left feet.

22. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling well.

23. Why don’t birds use Facebook?

Because they already tweet.

24. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

25. Why don’t sharks eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

26. Why did the shoe go to school?

Because it wanted to be a sneaker.

27. Why don’t phones ever get tired?

Because they recharge.

28. Why did the light bulb fail school?

Because it wasn’t too bright.

29. Why don’t lions play cards in the jungle?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

30. Why did the mirror get promoted?

Because it always reflects well.

31. Why don’t frogs park illegally?

Because they might get toad.

32. Why did the chicken join a band?

Because it had the drumsticks.

33. Why don’t elevators ever get bored?

Because they have their ups and downs.

34. Why did the book go to therapy?

Because it had too many issues.

35. Why don’t bees use deodorant?

Because they already smell honey-sweet.

36. Why did the river break up with the ocean?

Because it needed some space.

37. Why don’t teachers trust stairs?

Because they’re always up to something.

38. Why did the orange stop rolling?

Because it ran out of juice.

39. Why don’t spiders use computers?

Because they prefer the web.

40. Why did the car go to sleep?

Because it was exhausted.

41. Why don’t cows use phones?

Because they don’t like cell service.

42. Why did the moon skip dinner?

Because it was already full.

43. Why don’t bakers get angry?

Because they knead to stay calm.

44. Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

45. Why don’t socks ever get lost?

Because they stick together.

46. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright.

47. Why don’t doors argue?

Because they always shut up.

48. Why did the snowman look through the carrots?

Because he was picking his nose.

49. Why don’t computers fight?

Because they byte their tongues.

50. Why did the calendar feel proud?

Because its days were numbered.