An Apology to All Reading This

The Prompt

Write a humorous piece in the form of an apology that gradually reveals a situation the speaker is responsible for, growing more complicated as it goes.

Apologies tend to simplify. They smooth things over, reduce what happened to something manageable.

Yesterday I read a joke to my husband. Then he told me one and another similar story that he heard.

I asked him if he thought I should use his joke instead of the one I got from work. He said that he had told me that one more than once before. I apologized for not remembering, and said that is the one thing I am not good at is remembering jokes.

Then we laughed when he said, "The one thing?"

I am terrible with jokes and told a group I see each week about how I am an emcee for a conference and should have at least one joke.

The group talked for a minute and decided that the following may be perfect for this conference. Remember that I am bear clan, and this group knows this.

How to catch a bear

1. Dig a hole

2. Put peas around the outside of the hole

3. Fill the hole with ashes

4. When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.

Then I told my husband that he probably just doesn't think this joke is funny, right. He said, "No, it's okay, but mine is better." Okay, I get it. I will use your joke then. A smile appeared on his face.

I went on to say, did you get it from your monthly magazine? He said he did. Then I said, I wonder if many of the attendees will have already heard that one. "Okay, then don't tell that one. But it is definitely funnier than the bear one."

Here it is for you to decide

*John was talking to his surgeon about a brain transplant he was advised to have.

The surgeon told *John, "You have a choice, a surgeons brain, a brillant lawyers brain, or an alcoholics brain. Which will it be?"

*John said, "Give me the alcoholics brain as it most likely hasn't been used!"

John followed with

*John in a meeting shared that he donated his body to science, and he can just picture his brain when they put it in alcohol having a big happy sigh of relief after not drinking in 35 years!

*Author's note: I apologize, it was John telling me the story. He didn't say John!

A joke that I remember every year. It is more of a fall joke.

I was standing behind a man and his son, when his son said, "Dad, why did the chicken cross the road?" and *John said, "I don't know son, why did the chicken cross the road?"

His son said, "To show the skunks, porcupine, raccoons and deer that it can be done!"

~~

A Native American joke, that doesn't always make sense to others.

In a reservation (rez) town, the rez dogs and the city dogs live on opposite sides of the road. The rez dogs yip, yip, yip, yip while the city dogs say bow wow, bow wow, bow wow. The city dogs are always trying to get the rez dogs to bark like them.

So one day the rez dogs decided to do just that. When the city dogs were right across the road from them, the rez dogs barked, "Bow wow, bow wow, bow wow, ayyye!

~~

I apologize for my jokes if anyone is offended. What do you think? Do I have any business telling a joke? If you think you may have a more appropriate joke to share at a National Native American Al-anon (for family and friends of alcoholics) conference. Please share in the comments.