Sounds Like Love

Click. Click. Click.

I sat on the couch clicking away on the TV remote, flicking through the channels in search of something of substance.

Suddenly I felt a rumble in my gut that made its way through my system until I felt it poised for action. With little effort a cheek slapper squelched out, Brrruuuppahssshhhh Which echoed out, loud enough to wake the dead. Simultaneously it rattled along the couch cushions with enough vigour to shake the cushions below my partner.

Through the corner of my eye watch as she stops scrolling on her phone for a moment.

Her gaze rose from her phone and landed on me with displeasure.

I stopped clicking and chanced a smile at her, but was met by a death glare.

Her mouth hung open in disbelief as she narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brow, in an expression that said ‘Are you for real?’.

Knowing better than to push my luck, I bit back an amused giggle and returned to my channel surfing.

My partner soon did the same, scrolling through her phone just as she had been before.

Finally, I had found a show that would occupy my mind, but in that came relaxation. Which after our dinner of beans and other fuel for tooting, I knew I was in serious trouble.

The same rumble as earlier had returned, making its way through my system but I knew this was going to top the last one. 

Now I had a choice to make, after the welcome reception of my last trumpet call, I had to decide how to present this. I could do the polite thing and leave to relieve myself, but where was the fun in that?

Inhaling deeply for some good fuel I push just enough to give it momentum, but not hard enough to let anything else slip. Or at least I hoped nothing else would.

Brrruuuppahssshhhh, It came out in a low rumble and slowly built into an earth-shattering, couch-shaking explosion of sounds that pop and squeak into existence. In my mind, it carried on for several moments but was more like seconds. As soon as it ended, I suppressed a smile and laugh and looked over to my partner, in anticipation.

She sat there in utter shock, her mouth hung open, again.

Which gave me secondhand regret as the smell engulfed me and I had to fight from bursting into laughter. I coughed a little as I held a hand over my mouth to suppress the boyish sniggering that tried to escape my lips. I closed my eyes and pulled my shirt over my face to escape the foul scent of my own ass, still trying not to laugh.

My partner still held her look of disbelief, but it turned to disgust as she smacked her lips together. Then let out a yell of disapproval as she tossed her phone to the side and pulled her shirt over her face too. 

She began shaking violently, but with half her face covered and my eyes watering I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying until I heard it. She was snorting with laughter.

Which in turn made me burst into laughter, too.

The pair of us howled in unison. We giggled in bursts until our stomach ached and the smell dissipated.

Eventually, we escaped our shirt cocoons to breathe fresh air, or at least fresher air than before.

Wiping a few tears from my eyes, I looked at my partner. Admiring her rosy cheeks as a few more giggles escaped her lips, smiling at me as she regained control.

Then an unexpected few pops escaped her Puh Puh Puh Puh and drove us into another fit of laughter which only made more sound escape her, sounding like the rumble of marbles being dropped on a carpet floor. Puhpuhpuhpuhpuh.

We laughed so hard, I thought my sides would split. 

It was at that moment, as the smell overtook us and we vacated the living room in search of unaffected air. I knew she was the one for me.