Reindeer Brains

Our friends Malinda and Jon recently got back from a visit to Denmark. We’ve never traveled abroad, so I was naturally excited to hear their stories and live vicariously. We learned about Danish museums, Danish landmarks, and how cycling is the main mode of travel in Copenhagen. All of that is lovely, of course, but what about the FOOOOOD?

Jon took some very tempting photographs of delicious-looking sandwiches and desserts, each of which could be considered a work of art. But that is not what this story is about. When we met for the post vacation debriefing, Malinda casually mentioned that Noma, the restaurant that inspired the 2022 dark comedy, The Menu starring Ralph Fiennes is located in Copenhagen. I can’t remember if I was drinking anything at the time, but let’s imagine I did a spit take. YOU MEAN THAT DEMENTED SHIT IS REAL? Even without the murders, I couldn’t believe those insane food concepts are based on the work of a real chef! Malinda sent me a copy of the menu which was both amusing and difficult to digest (pun intended).

Noma boasts 3 Michelin stars, the highest possible number of stars, and has been named the best restaurant in the world by Restaurant Magazine in 2021.

Before I start roasting this menu with my patented comedy stylings, I’d better add an important disclaimer. I realize that native people and rural folks hunt and enjoy consuming all kinds of four legged creatures out of tradition, necessity, or both. I applaud their connection to the natural world and their reverence for the animals which give them sustenance. Rock on! I am not yucking your yum.

I aim to make fun of the ultra-rich who eat dishes created for shock value, gruesome arrangements of organs, flesh, and bone that would make Hannibal Lecter blush. I am talking about trust fund foodies who pay thousands for duck dicks pickled in goose blood and deconstructed capybara taints just to feel something.

I perused Nona’s game and forest season tasting menu of 2021 pictured below, which was obtained and reviewed by flavorways.com. I say, “tasting menu,” but at a place this fancy you don’t order, you simply eat whatever they bring you. The menu changes daily. No substitutions. No exceptions.

The obvious attention grabber is, of course, the reindeer brain custard, which is served right in the skull! Is this how the wealthy get their Christmas spirit? The reviewer goes on to say that the flavor was nothing special but seemed charmed by the macabre presentation. I mean, YOLO! Amirite?

This outlandish fare is juxtaposed by the hilariously simple, like the dish referred to as 'plum.' And we can’t forget the 'oregano sandwich,' which to me sounds like something you’d do to smuggle drugs across the border.

Reindeer seems to be a theme, and I’m glad they made use of the whole animal. We have a bit of a menagerie with the boar, duck and bear also making cameos in this gastro gauntlet. Then we get to number 12: Buttermilk and Scoby.

No, not Scooby! Scoby! It’s the symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast used in the preparation of kombucha, ‘ya silly noobs!

And I hope you saved room because we have reindeer caramel for dessert.

*Bump*

*Spill*

“Hey, you got reindeer in my caramel!”

“You got caramel in my reindeer!”

*Both take a taste*

“Hmm, not bad!”

I can only assume this is how such a combination was formed.

This is but one menu in the storied culinary career of an award-winning chef whose humble beginnings started with the flip of a burger. Even if flavors like these are not your cup of tea, you have to admire the man’s creativity!

Our friends did not dine at Nona. They opted for the ironically named plant-based restaurant, The Ark. Neither of them is vegan, but this place apparently knocked their socks off!

Here’s a real quote from the restaurant’s website.

‘It was the mushrooms that made me grab the edge of the table, like when Meg Ryan orgasmed in When Harry Met Sally.’

And, well, there you have it!

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Divisive foods are having a moment right now on Vocal. This was my contribution. Please check out the other despised dishes by fellow creators (Donna's Marshmallow piece includes further links) as well as this film review of 'The Menu' by Grz Colm.