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I got a $10 Vocal Bonus

I am officially a Vocal Mother (sort of). I got balloons and everything to celebrate 'MY" NEW COMMUNITY!

By Novel AllenPublished about a year ago 3 min read

What else can I say, but; YOU ARE:

Let us celebrate

Actually...I made a suggestion, and the Vocal team did all the hard work to get the idea to fruition. Still, I am so proud that I made a tiny difference in the grand scheme of things.

Dharsheena, I feel a bit like your 'Giggling Granny', but I won't give rat poison to anyone. Promise!

If I can get a BONUS, anyone can. So come on guys, find new hope, reach deep down and find your funny bones, rediscover your dreams in doing this thing we all love. Writing for the sheer joy and excitement of the chase.

I am just so gosh-darned excited to be a part of it all!

I have always had the gift of opening my mouth and blurting out the first thing that came to my brain, as you can imagine, this has landed me in many a pickle.

Like the time I met up with, let's call him Dick. Dick was holding hands with Jane. I go, "oh hello Dick, how are Susan and the children"? Jane promptly dropped his hand. Too late I realized that I had just put my foot in my mouth. But then, I thought, serves you right, you lying, cheating hand holding son of a nutcracker.

As you can imagine, some people thought that I was a blithering idiot, including myself. "Think before you open your mouth dummy". I got yelled at a lot. Some people just avoided me, some probably hated me, I'm sure.

One time at work, one Boss lady and a manager lady had a huge fuss. The manager lady stormed out, went and grabbed her kids, forgot her husband and traipsed off to God knows where. The poor fellow, almost in tears at the front desk, stood regaling everyone about his unfortunate situation. I popped up, asked what was happening..."Jen ran off with the kids, someone said".

I go "Oh I saw her earlier, she said she wasn't coming back cause she don't love Vic anymore, and she hates the bloody job".

"Bite your tongue, woman". The Manager who was causing everyone to quit yelled.

Now the poor fellow was in tears and one more person hated me.

I am hopeless, on paper, I do ok. In real life, I am kinds klutsy with my mouth. There actually is a thing where honesty is not always the best policy.

Then I realized I had the gift of making people laugh, I was not just an idiot, I was kinda funny. Funny things just naturally made their way to my mouth.

I, like many people who write here, am a huge introvert. I like to live in the shadows, meeting people face to face has traumatized me my whole life. Most people with a modicum (weird word) of aristic talent, tend to be introverts, I am realizing. So, If I had to meet any of you guys face to face, I would stew for a week, go on a diet, meditate and maybe cry a bit.

I turned down some promotions in the workplace because I had to face too many people. I liked jobs where I hide away. My dream job would be locked in a basement working on cold cases for detectives to go solve.

I don't like driving. If I have to drive at night or early mornings, I cry all the way, with total tunnel vision, until I park the car and get out. I don't do that very often, as you may imagine.

Well, I hope I got to six hundred words. They said I have to write 600 words to get my story accepted. So I filled in some anecdotes and stories which may or may not be true.

Come on, sometimes funny stories don't need 600 words.

By Myriam Zilles on Unsplash



About the Creator

Novel Allen

Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. ~~ Rabindranath Tagore~~

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Comments (12)

  • Naomi Goldabout a year ago

    Thank you for suggesting it, I love humor. I used to do stand-up. It’s harder for me to write humor than perform it, but I might have a little something up my sleeve. I’m an introvert but nobody believes me. I’m highly sociable when I’m around people, I just choose to spend lots of quality time alone because I’m my favorite person. ☺️

  • Shivani Parekhabout a year ago

    ‘Most people with a modicum of aristic talent, tend to be introverts‘ I really couldn’t have agreed more, for I, too am introverted. You completely deserved the bonus and I am so glad that you and all the amazing writers in the humour community are contributing to making our days better by making as fall to the ground laughing!

  • Lol, I can imagine you giggling like the Giggling Granny! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Omggg, you know what, I'm the same as you. I just blurt out the truth and some people cannot handle my brutal honesty hahahahah. I'm also an introvert. My dream job would be no job but I need money so the basement it is, lol! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!

  • Liz Sinclairabout a year ago

    OMG we're the same tribe! I have this same tendency to blurt out truth without thinking. But I'm with you -- if it requires a charade and everyone pretending, then maybe the truth needs to be spoken out loud.

  • Grz Colmabout a year ago

    Your dream job huh? Sounds alright actually!! Please don’t become TOO much of the giggling granny though! Yikes! Loved this little piece. Did Not know you had suggested the idea for the comedy section, good one! 👍

  • GIabout a year ago

    Come on, sometimes funny stories don't need 600 words.❤️

  • Stephanie J. Bradberryabout a year ago

    Congratulations, Novel!!!

  • Babs Iversonabout a year ago


  • Congratulations well done, really happy for you

  • Tiffany Gordon about a year ago

    Congrats No! You're an inspiration! 😍

  • Judey Kalchik about a year ago

    Cheers to you, and thank you for an entertaining story.

  • Kendall Defoe about a year ago

    Well done! I got a little coinage for suggesting something that was used for the Microfiction challenge, and any little bit helps. Now, I have got to think up some jokes... ;)

Novel AllenWritten by Novel Allen

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