Bruno Wreaks Havoc on the HOA

From the Desk of Dwayne Deaton

55255 E Clover Vale Lane

Springfield 55555

555-867-5309

June 14, 20xx

To the Members of Seven Springs Estates HOA

To whom it may concern:

I’d like to apologize for my dog, Bruno, getting out this week. I promise to pay for any damage he has caused to each of your properties, as well as to the public area. If I had known he was tearing at the fenceline in that area, I would have repaired it sooner, perhaps avoiding all this chaos. I hope you all will forgive us for what has been done.

When I put him out in the backyard this morning, I had no idea he would start tearing apart the fence to get out. I admit, I should have checked on him sooner, but I had answered a call about my car’s extended warranty. I was only on the phone for a few moments, though. He must have been really tearing into the fence to get free as fast as he did. By the time I’d searched the yard and found where he escaped from, the damage had been done.

I ran to the side gate and through to the front yard, all in the hope I’d catch Bruno in time. Instead, I was met with scattered trash all up and down the sidewalk, both mine and my neighbors'. The cans were knocked over, with one smack in the middle of the street, blocking traffic.

Of course, I went to pick up the cans first to see if Bruno just happened to be at the cans, and that’s when I saw the torn-up rosebed across the road at Ms. Bittermin’s yard. So I followed the trail of chaos, hoping he was not too far ahead of me. I was saddened to see that Ms. Bittermin’s prized dahlias were destroyed, too.

It was with a heavy heart that I looked up and down our street and became fully aware of the commotion coming from each front yard. For as far as I could see, upset neighbors were standing on their lawns, looking over the damage that had just been caused. I knew then just how great this pup was going to cost me.

As I walked the sidewalk, hoping to find the little bastard, I surveyed it all more closely, and even though I felt responsible for what Bruno had done, I was also quite amazed at the extent of the damage he had caused. Who knew a seven-month-old puppy would cause so much destruction? I hope to make repairs with all of my neighbors, without marring the sense of community towards me.

More flowerbeds were dug up in each yard, leaving more piles of shit than a dog his size should be able to at each stop. Bruno turned over more trash cans, strewing garbage everywhere. Worst of all was the car trim I saw in several of y’all’s lawns. I soon found out he tore the trim from a total of six cars.

I’m aware that each of you is upset with us. Some are even talking about kicking us out of Seven Springs Estates over Bruno’s escape. I blame no one for voting us out of the HOA, if so decided.

Please consider, though, that my wife and I are long-standing members of the community. We’ve never had an instance, not even a write-up, before today. We deserve a second chance, even Bruno.

Honestly, neighbors, if I’d known just how much trouble a chihuahua would cause, my family wouldn’t have adopted one. We’d have adopted a Siberian husky instead.

Sincerely,

Dwayne Deaton