You meet the scum, in fact, are the right people

Why do you always fall in love with scum?

During this period, the "Ajiao divorce" thing is a furor.

No matter how the truth of the matter, but has been, Ajiao's love road is bumpy, it is saddening.

Some people say that Ajiao so many relationships are met with scum is affected by the X photo door incident.

This allows Ajiao to put herself in a very low posture, everything carefully. When she meets a boyfriend who is "not suspicious" of her, it is easy to ignore the character and get caught up in the moving and giving

However, constant love constantly hurt people, but also continue to be like a moth to the flame pursuing "inappropriate love". There is only one truth - lack of love, her heart desperately wants love.

Understanding her family of origin, we will find out where the crux of Ajiao's "desperate desire for love" comes from.

Her father passed away when she was one year old. Her mother, who was only 18 years old, was unable to raise her alone, so she left Ajiao with her grandfather. But the old man also passed away very early, leaving Ajiao and her cousin to live together.

Because of her premature independence, Ajiao longed for a complete family and the feeling of being loved. And, as such, she also lacks self-confidence and has a low sense of self-worth

"In life, who will not meet a few scums?"

Many people in a relationship failure, will be so self-congratulatory, which does have a certain self-enlightenment effect.

But, every failed relationship, is it because of the encounter with a scum?

The actual person in this relationship "slag" you, and can be in another relationship to pity others. The person who slapped each other Zhang Yuqi, and Wang Xiaofei, can also become a good men to peel shrimp for Big S. In fact, no matter how "good" the other person is, the person can be a good man.

No matter how "slaggy" the other party is, every other half you meet is the "right" person.

Fall in love with a scum is your subconscious choice

You like older men and love their maturity, and stability, subconsciously, perhaps, he can make up for your childhood absence of fatherly love, so that you can rely on the forced independence, get a sense of security, but avoid his good for the control and irreconcilable conflicts between you.

You fall in love with a man like the wind, fascinated by his melancholy and lonely aura, you can't help but want to be close to him, so you want to exude your "motherly love", tolerate him, love him, but always ignore his unpredictable and unstable emotions.

You vowed not to find a man like your father, who was indifferent, mean, and even violent to your mother, only to find that the other half of your search, at first to take good care of you, after marriage, but indifferent and irritable, because you were unconsciously attracted to the type of father, repeat the fate of the mother ......

Our subconscious mind unconsciously identifies with our parents because familiarity makes us feel safe. After all, that is the only "template" you know, even though it is a wrong model of relationship.

The stigma of our family of origin allows us to be controlled by our subconscious mind, and the result is that we unconsciously copy our parents' relationship patterns and re-enter similar scenarios.

What we should now re-examine is whether our family of origin has brought us a lot of influence but never knew it.

You can only heal yourself and start over with a better face if you see the truth within yourself.

Many people can be influenced by their family of origin when they fall into their gender relationships.

Unfortunately, if you don't realize, change and heal, then every relationship is wrong and you will keep repeating it, trapped in it, until you are too bruised and afraid to love again, and even continue the pattern to the next generation.

And luckily, amidst the repetition, you can choose a different way of coping and have the opportunity to leapfrog old family patterns and reinvent your life.

To avoid subconsciously choosing scum and stumbling in relationships, you must first begin to realize and grow out of your family of origin yourself.

There is never a perfect family of origin, but we can become a better version of ourselves.