Write everything down

Isn’t anyone’s goal, ever just to be happy…

Happy with their friends

Happy with their family

Happy with their life

Happy with what they do

That seems to be the ultimate goal with anyone to just be happy and not have to worry about it

But if we were happy all the time would life be called life and expressed how it is now

*Get all of your thoughts together on one page and then read it over to really understand what you are thinking...

*Love those people that you can double text and they don’t get annoyed they just text you back right away

I️ hate having so much going on in my head.

All my friends are over here getting cuffed and still trying to have a relationship last longer than a month.

December second:

Time to rant for sec…

Maybe I️t is just because you were suppose to teach me a lesson, but honestly you were one of my first loves outside of high school, you knew me and I️ knew you, you always thinking of me and I was always thinking of you, BUT everything happens for a reason and maybe that door is closed forever with only the good times that I️ can remember to go off of or maybe that chapter is finished and I️t will always be a memory, I️ will not know until later. But why does I️t still hurt, why does my heart still ache if I️ hear a song or see a photo, I️ want I️t to go away.

I️ was comfortable with you, maybe that’s why I️ was ripped away, I️ was getting too comfortable and if it got any worse then shit would have went even more south than they did.

Who does that to their friend and does not apologize for the pain that they put someone through, I️t felt like I️ was being stabbed in my stomach a million times and I️ needed to get out of there, tears ran down my face but I️ was so numb that no words could be formed, my body was so intoxicated that my mind was going blurry and I️ just kept walking, someone grabbed my arm and told me not to leave,

HIS F*****G HAND TOUCHING MY ARM TELLING ME NOT TO LEAVE,

taking the whole thing as a damn joke, maybe that’s what put the sugar on top of the cake, the fact that you said you only want to be with me and tell me, you love me every night before bed and then we stop talking for maybe a month or two and you do that when I’m up for a visit…

Yeah right they were full of shit, maybe not but I️t seems like that now, I️ am not sure what I️t was but that whole thing just threw me into a spiral and realizing I️ could trust no one at that point, I️ was on my own for this one and my sister was not even there to back me up.

This shit still replays over and over in my head when I️ get sad and miss you and then I️ realized the fucking bullshit that you put me through.

Lol good night, that’s enough for today from me.

;)

IT HAS BEEN A SECOND SINCE I HAVE WROTE SOMETHINGS DOWN TO VENT AMOUNT WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON.

`February 10th 2021,

wow, it has been a minute since I have really take a second to look at my life. But something happen recently that it making me crazy anxious.

I was told that I have being over bearing and extroverting myself, "too much..."

Now correct me if I am wrong but IF YOU ARE SECURE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR BEING, YOU DO NOT TEAR OTHERS DOWN TO BRING YOURSELF UP OR TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF.

I understand, not everyone gets along, but there is a time and place to be nice and mean to someone. There is a time and place to...

Actually scratch that, if you do not like your current situation and you are feeling sad or unhapy about yourself, YOU DO NOT, blame other people.

You have to do something about it to change your current situation or how you feel, why do I feel the need to feel uncomfortable about something when I did not do anything wrong, I was trying to be nice and include this person in what was going on.

This shit will never make sense to me...

WHY are people so mean when they are unsure about themselves...?????

We need to stop projecting people...