when is the last time you cried

If we’re talking about just tearing up, probably was when I watched a greys episode or some sentimental movie with my sister, but if we are talking about full, on sobbing my eyes out...

This was when I was coming home from my friends house with my sister,

Some things were being said in the house that completely caught me off guard and it "shook me to my core (shane dawson and jeffrey star fans)." It is when you think your friends have your best interest when maybe they really never did... You some crazy shit comeout of their mouth and then you're in such shock you really do not know what to do say...

Anyways...

It was a moment that you feel like you are in a movie and then all of sudden you cannot breath anymore because you are in so much shock. My heart was racing and I could not process what was being said at all after those things. My sister looked at me and immediately grabbed my phone and I could not look at anyone.

I had to get out of there, I texted my sister, "I gotta go, can we leave...?"

We said our good byes and go in the car...

We weren’t even out of the neighborhood yet, but I had a sharp pain in my stomach and head. Keep in mind I rarely cry, right? I know (now) that it is not healthy to hold in emotions but my sister had never really seen me cry. I don’t usually like to or show any emotion in front of people, it’s just not who I am, it’s hard for me to even open up to you, let alone, show my emotion. That was the first time my sister had really seen me cry... alright I'll be honest, I balled my eyes out. I could not breath during that car ride.

Now I am saying, I was crying like someone in my family had just died

BUT this was a little bit different, it was heart break...

A pain like no other...I am sure many can relate...

Anyways, I was driving and before we even hit the main road I was just started tearing up and then uncontrollably crying so hard that I could barely catch my breathe to keep driving, my vision would have been blurry the whole time, if I would have kept on driving, so my sister started tearing up too, and that’s when I knew she was a really a ride or die (I know I am sorry so cliqué) in my life and I could always count on her because she was feeling my pain too.

But I cried the whole way home because my heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces...

It's the pain you feel when you cannot catch your breath

You are crying so hard that your body hurts so much

All your emotions are rushing out of your body

YOU ARE SO NUMB

That was one of the worst pains I have ever felt before...

No one has ever known except for my sister...

I don't know if I will ever tell anyone else

But

This was the day I knew everything changed and was going to get worse...

that was the last time I was ever at that house again...

That was the day I knew those people weren't my friends anymore...

It was so painful because it was heart break of someone I once loved and heart break of friends I once trusted and counted on.

This is something that was never talked about.

After this day, nothing was the same.