Woke

After a week of several rejections this one stung a little bit because I poured my heart into it. But my heart has a bad history of acting up in the wrong times. Arrhythmias coupled with a fatigued brain can lead to wrong decicions, exacerbate it with a couple of brewskis and It's a recipe for failure if you were not gifted with the talent. The rest of us just gotta work harder. Not as hard as Charles & Colvard's innovative way of creating lab grown diamonds but keep going at it until one day you too can create a gem.

I applied for several jobs that offered more money for less work. Isn't that what most of us who have a time taxing hobby want? Spend more time crafting your work, page after page until eureka, right? Well, of course. This week I was expecting my Gmail notification to ring on my phone but I instead started getting bill due notices. And then it became boggled up. We are in the last days of the end of year so you're stuck in motion with paying your bills and spending it grand; buying gifts, hanging out with your friends and family, celebrating, decorating, trying to take advantage of sales going on. Then there's the bills due all in the beginning of the month. Very common, you're not alone. Calm down, you don't have to get all anxious and write a horrible piece to Vocal.

Then there's a rejection by a love interest. Hey, I'm married but for some reason when one is is that opportunities come by. You love your wife dearly, that's why you married her right? But good grief when that testosterone and Y gene kicks in, coupled with come-ons by the other and it's almost irresistible. So, consequently, with the pressure you start to make mistakes. Something or the other you screw up and the to-have-been mistress finds out, somehow, that you're married and you end up getting the ultimate rejection--almost dramatic. I deserve it but that's no reason to get angry and write a horrible piece to Vocal.

How about luck? Hey you never know when luck is gonna strike so you give it a go. Since Sunday I've spent almost $300 gambling; playing scratch offs and trying to guess three numbers and four numbers during the day and evening. So far nothing. I almost feel guilty I'm wasting so much paper. Sometimes i have handfuls of scratch offs and tickets. Guilt comes through at the end of the day. That money could've been better spent helping the less fortunate. If i don't stop I could become one. But having a bad habit is no reason to write a horrible piece promoting self-injury and harm to oneself.

Above all, sleep rejects each night. It has always been this way but more so around the end of the year, maybe it's the work or the anxiety, but sleep becomes an impossibility until eventually you fall asleep but it's already too late. You have to egg yourself to that cold shower in this winter to fully awaken and get on with your day. Maybe that could've been a factor of writing a horrible piece to Vocal. But let's not make excuses.

It's nine in the evening. Very soon I'll have to drink warm milk with chamomile to calm the body. Perhaps with some Indica strain THC to put the body to rest. Hey, it's finally legal. It's natural and safe like diamonds built in the lab. Wink.

Living in a big, noisy city doesn't help either. In March i am going to live abroad with my wife. Perhaps maybe then, just maybe I'll be able to win that juicy contest by Vocal. Until then, thank you for the rejection.

Signing Off,

Me.