Why the Need for Relationships and the Fear of Being Alone?

The need for relationships - have you ever met a person who goes from one relationship to another, as if they are afraid to be too long without a partner? Or maybe that's how you feel - you need someone close to you, the feeling that you have someone, and if a relationship ends, it doesn't take long for you to find someone else…

When we refer to the need for relationships of some people, we refer to the need to be in a relationship, to have someone, not to be alone for a long time (it is a type of addiction - to feel the need to depend on another). Why are some people looking for relief in a new relationship too soon after the previous one ends? Why are there some people who are always with someone - as if "being with someone" is the most important thing?

About the need for relationships (to be in a relationship):

Fear of being alone. This is the answer - some people, women or men, move from one relationship to another quite quickly because they are afraid of loneliness.

Not having someone to date, to hold hands and to kiss, to spend your evenings with - someone you can call before bed is hard sometimes… And maybe being alone with your thoughts is even harder - you prefer to take your time and run away from your thoughts, and a relationship is a perfect way!

To have a relationship = to be wanted. There is an idea that those who are alone for a long time, who do not have a relationship, would not be attractive enough, desirable !! An idea, of course, is superficial and far from reality - choosing not to start a relationship if you do not find the right person is a choice of a rational and self-confident person!

It has nothing to do with the fact that you would not be desired or attractive if you were left alone for a while! But sometimes, superficiality makes us believe that having a person near you - even if it is not the person for us - is preferable to being alone and would make us more attractive in the world…

A couple's relationship makes you feel confident. About the need for relationships, following the previous idea - being in a couple gives you certain stability in life (even if you do not know how long it will last) and the feeling that you are a person desired by others and successful. A relationship gives you confidence - and if it ends, you may feel the need to regain a sense of stability and self-confidence.

But self-confidence and self-esteem should not depend on your relationship status - but on you as a person and on what you know you are! The fact that you, on your own, are a person with many qualities, who knows this and knows what he wants from himself and life.

Finding the right person. Some say that "try your hand at sea": if a relationship doesn't work, then it wasn't the right partner; so what's wrong with looking for another one, trying the same?… The only problem is that life doesn't suit your desires - and the more you try and try, the harder it seems to be!

Many times, only when you can be relaxed and you will not always think about finding the right partner, you will meet him! Maybe waiting for someone for whom you feel something special is preferable, instead of hoping that trying to go out with more, the desired partner will also appear. You can fool yourself, hoping that you will feel something, that love will appear - but if you do not feel something when you meet a person, there is too little chance that you will suddenly start loving him/her…

Being alone after a long relationship is very difficult - you no longer know how to be happy on your own, you have become accustomed to married life, you have become accustomed to having support and a person who meets certain needs.

And now, alone, you don't know how to be happy, you feel the need to be in a relationship again, even if not the same. You can even start a short relationship as a bandage, thinking that the person next to you will help you move on and not be so alone…

But after a long relationship that ends, what you should do is give yourself time to accept, time to heal your wounds, time to be alone with yourself, thinking about what went wrong. and what you want from a relationship and life. Being alone for a while can be very beneficial - get used to not being completely dependent on another person, not thinking that you can't be whole without a couple, not always relying on another person: but on yourself!

Get used to liking yourself - and before that, you need to know yourself as you are. Don't always look for a partner to comfort and help you - you become addicted to outside help, while you need to know how to help yourself! Get rid of the need for relationships, the need to have someone by your side - as long as you don't feel that someone is the right person.